I feel like the further I get into my future, or I guess the further I progress into my life, the more questions that arise. I become more uncertain of the goals and the dreams that I had become so set on and gung-ho with. I become more than ever confused and searching for answers.
I feel like that now, that I live in this constant state of limbo. Am I a kid, an adult, a kid, adult? In school, out of school, real job, no job? The questions drive me crazy. With my uncertain future looming overhead I can do nothing more than question.
The past four years or so of my life was spent working on a biology degree. A degree that would allow me to go to medical school. For the longest time it was a dream of mine that I kept to myself and shared with no one. Now, I am of average intelligence, not SUPER wiz-kid smart but I'd like to think I know a thing or two. I worked to get a degree that would allow me to accomplish that goal. I was never driven by money or power, just but the ability to help others when in their weakest moments. I decided to forgo that dream, my grades weren't high enough, a professor told me I wasn't smart enough, my family talked me out of it, heck I talked myself out of it. Scared of attempting and failing. So I have decided on the next best thing, to become a PA (Physician Assistant) which is close enough to the real thing. The next 7 months might possibly make me crazy waiting to see if I am accepted. I am in the process of filling out applications, taking entrance exams, and getting letters of personal recommendations written.
I feel as if there must be an all-or-nothing principle applied to this. Somedays I want to give up on the career idea, move to Utah, open up a bike shop up in the mountains and ride my bike for the rest of my existence. Then there are the days like today, where I feel as if I should give up the racing and intense training and crawl into a hole until school is over.
Who knows anymore. I wish I had answers to these questions, so maybe they would stop eating at me. I find it hard to enjoy any activity because "I should be studying this or reading that." Hopefully in the end everything will work out the way it was suppose to.
Heck maybe I'll become a surgical PA and a professional XTERRA athlete. You never know, a girl can dream.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Think Until You Are
So since I have decided to take to be what seems an indefinite hiatus from the everloving Facebook, I have decided to blog more, just to make sure that all of you are updated on my life, just because I know that's what you were hoping for!
My first race of the season is ONE WEEK AWAY. Oh boy is it coming fast. I am beyond excited and scared out of my mind to think that race season is already upon us again.
Race season is awesome, for lack of a better word. If you have never experienced one I highly suggest that you do, whether you are a competitor, a spectator, or a bitter friend who got dragged along by guilt. It is something so magical, surreal, painful, and fun, it is sure to leave you with stories and memories for a lifetime. Okay, so back to the main point of this study break (blog update). I was talking to a friend yesterday, a friend who like myself is a triathlete, a very good one at that. We talked about racing and training, traveling and schedules, and qualifications. Yes, you heard me right qualifications. We talked about her goal and what is a soon-to-be reality of a pro-card.
Pro. Card. Those two words are heavy and light at the same time. How amazing it would be to become a pro-triathlete. To get paid to train and race doing a sport (well, technically it's three, but who is counting) that you absolutely love. I dream that one day I can venture down that path of having a pro-card that close within my grasp.
To be a top-level athlete it takes commitment, dedication, hard-work, and sacrifice. These qualities are not only for the days in which you feel good, but for the days that you are tired and don't feel well. Those days more than anything I think are what make an athlete strong.
Today for me is one of those days. I had a better night of sleep than normal, but for some reason woke up feeling tired and sore from a kick-butt brick yesterday (yes, it hurt that good). I have studying to do, quizzes to take, plans to prepare for the upcoming week, and workouts of my own to do. My head is pounding, my body is tired, and I would just like to take a nap in the middle of this library (please do not mistake this for complaining, because that is NOT what I am doing. Simply sharing my feelings). I am thinking about my 3500m swim that I need to get done, okay more like dreading it. But you know what, I am going to finish my plans and study guides, and then prance over to that pool like I own the place because that is what an elite would do.
If you only ever worked out on the days that you felt good, you would never get anything done.
So...happy training :)
My first race of the season is ONE WEEK AWAY. Oh boy is it coming fast. I am beyond excited and scared out of my mind to think that race season is already upon us again.
Race season is awesome, for lack of a better word. If you have never experienced one I highly suggest that you do, whether you are a competitor, a spectator, or a bitter friend who got dragged along by guilt. It is something so magical, surreal, painful, and fun, it is sure to leave you with stories and memories for a lifetime. Okay, so back to the main point of this study break (blog update). I was talking to a friend yesterday, a friend who like myself is a triathlete, a very good one at that. We talked about racing and training, traveling and schedules, and qualifications. Yes, you heard me right qualifications. We talked about her goal and what is a soon-to-be reality of a pro-card.
Pro. Card. Those two words are heavy and light at the same time. How amazing it would be to become a pro-triathlete. To get paid to train and race doing a sport (well, technically it's three, but who is counting) that you absolutely love. I dream that one day I can venture down that path of having a pro-card that close within my grasp.
To be a top-level athlete it takes commitment, dedication, hard-work, and sacrifice. These qualities are not only for the days in which you feel good, but for the days that you are tired and don't feel well. Those days more than anything I think are what make an athlete strong.
Today for me is one of those days. I had a better night of sleep than normal, but for some reason woke up feeling tired and sore from a kick-butt brick yesterday (yes, it hurt that good). I have studying to do, quizzes to take, plans to prepare for the upcoming week, and workouts of my own to do. My head is pounding, my body is tired, and I would just like to take a nap in the middle of this library (please do not mistake this for complaining, because that is NOT what I am doing. Simply sharing my feelings). I am thinking about my 3500m swim that I need to get done, okay more like dreading it. But you know what, I am going to finish my plans and study guides, and then prance over to that pool like I own the place because that is what an elite would do.
If you only ever worked out on the days that you felt good, you would never get anything done.
So...happy training :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Whole 30
So what I have been up to over the last 3 months besides school? Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing super exciting to report. Like I mentioned a few blogs ago I have been trying to focus and really fine-tune my eating habits. I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic! I will admit it. I love chocolate and have been trying to find a way to separate myself from this delicious confection. I may have found my answer...
Last month some of my GPP buddies from out west decided to have a challenge. A challenge that for 30 days would strip our diets of all the bad food that we as Americans love to eat. You can see another view about this from my friend Candice and her blog here (http://www.bodyofamother.com/) . Believe it or not, some of the foods that are deemed "healthy" or that we think are good for us really aren't. So we decided to join a movement, Whole 30 (http://whole9life.com/2012/01/whole-30-v2012/) . Now before you start rolling your eyes and click away, hear me out. Whole 30 is NOT some fad diet with a low calorie restriction, in fact there is NO calorie restriction. This program just promotes whole, natural, clean eating. There are no supplements, shakes, or bars to buy just guidelines for how you can eat cleaner.
It does call for you to cut out certain foods such as dairy, legumes, grains, and sugar. Believe it or not these foods can have a negative impact on your health and fitness without you even knowing.
Let me tell you this, I have never felt so good as when I was doing Whole 30. I was less tired, lethargic, and I felt better during my workouts. Whole 30 for me ended 3 days ago and you can bet what the first thing I had as soon as this challenge was complete, a chocolate bar. Oh my gosh I have never felt more sick from food in my entire life. It's funny how once you go without something for an extended period of time your body adapts beautifully. There is a quote that I stumbled across a few weeks ago that has stuck with me "if you put garbage in, you'll get garbage out." So with my first race of the season right around the corner I am going back to my Whole 30 way of eating for life.
Yep, you heard me right. First race of the season is less than 2 weeks away. I am excited and nervous. I have this hip pain that keeps flaring up. I went back to the doctor yesterday and got an injection, fingers crossed it helps A LOT. My race is XTERRA Gator Terra in Ruston, LA. Now I haven't been training for near as long as I had before I raced this one last year, but boy am I hungry for a win. Let's just say there is going to be a show-down on May 6th.
Last month some of my GPP buddies from out west decided to have a challenge. A challenge that for 30 days would strip our diets of all the bad food that we as Americans love to eat. You can see another view about this from my friend Candice and her blog here (http://www.bodyofamother.com/) . Believe it or not, some of the foods that are deemed "healthy" or that we think are good for us really aren't. So we decided to join a movement, Whole 30 (http://whole9life.com/2012/01/whole-30-v2012/) . Now before you start rolling your eyes and click away, hear me out. Whole 30 is NOT some fad diet with a low calorie restriction, in fact there is NO calorie restriction. This program just promotes whole, natural, clean eating. There are no supplements, shakes, or bars to buy just guidelines for how you can eat cleaner.
It does call for you to cut out certain foods such as dairy, legumes, grains, and sugar. Believe it or not these foods can have a negative impact on your health and fitness without you even knowing.
Let me tell you this, I have never felt so good as when I was doing Whole 30. I was less tired, lethargic, and I felt better during my workouts. Whole 30 for me ended 3 days ago and you can bet what the first thing I had as soon as this challenge was complete, a chocolate bar. Oh my gosh I have never felt more sick from food in my entire life. It's funny how once you go without something for an extended period of time your body adapts beautifully. There is a quote that I stumbled across a few weeks ago that has stuck with me "if you put garbage in, you'll get garbage out." So with my first race of the season right around the corner I am going back to my Whole 30 way of eating for life.
Yep, you heard me right. First race of the season is less than 2 weeks away. I am excited and nervous. I have this hip pain that keeps flaring up. I went back to the doctor yesterday and got an injection, fingers crossed it helps A LOT. My race is XTERRA Gator Terra in Ruston, LA. Now I haven't been training for near as long as I had before I raced this one last year, but boy am I hungry for a win. Let's just say there is going to be a show-down on May 6th.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
A Judged World
It has been 3 months since I posted on here last, eek where as the time gone? Sorry about that, but to answer that question time as gone to my studies, my labs, and did I mention my classes? School has been crazy and overwhelming and stressful, but I am beginning to once again enjoy it.
I was reminded of something this week about us as a society, a race, a community of people. Something that not only bothered me but provoked a response. That subject in which I am referring to is "judgement." I heard about it from a client at the gym, a fellow student on campus, and from someone within my own family.
Judgement is everywhere around us, in every movie or book that we read, and sometimes is something as simple as a look. In my own opinion I think no person has the right to judge another. Quoting a childhood scold, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." With this age of facebook, twitter, and social media gone wild everybody has an opinion from behind a computer screen. (Now I realize that I at this very moment am sitting behind a computer screen while typing this. But if you see me feel free to ask. I have no problem expressing my opinion in person).
I get sick of people talking negatively about others, whether it be groups of people, races, christians/non-christians, dancers, musicians, whatever the group of people it may be. If they are different from you then they are automatically deemed as "weird." We were not put on this earth to judge, we were put here to love and respect one another as fellow humans. I don't know where in translation that this simple message got lost, but I think we need to find it again.
I wish people would be more accepting of others, listen to their story instead of putting them down. Everyone has had a long road that has helped shaped them into the person in which they have become.
The simple way that I am trying to better myself at everyday is to acknowledge people and listen to them. Treat them with the most kindness that I know how. This pertains to every person that I meet, differences in my opinion do not matter. We have become a world that is filled with hate. Where did all the love go?
In my final thought I will say this, it does not matter race, sexual orientation, economic status, handicapped or not, every person on this planet deserves the same respect as the next person.
Sorry this was not training/racing related, but I just needed to step up on my soapbox for a moment.
I was reminded of something this week about us as a society, a race, a community of people. Something that not only bothered me but provoked a response. That subject in which I am referring to is "judgement." I heard about it from a client at the gym, a fellow student on campus, and from someone within my own family.
Judgement is everywhere around us, in every movie or book that we read, and sometimes is something as simple as a look. In my own opinion I think no person has the right to judge another. Quoting a childhood scold, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." With this age of facebook, twitter, and social media gone wild everybody has an opinion from behind a computer screen. (Now I realize that I at this very moment am sitting behind a computer screen while typing this. But if you see me feel free to ask. I have no problem expressing my opinion in person).
I get sick of people talking negatively about others, whether it be groups of people, races, christians/non-christians, dancers, musicians, whatever the group of people it may be. If they are different from you then they are automatically deemed as "weird." We were not put on this earth to judge, we were put here to love and respect one another as fellow humans. I don't know where in translation that this simple message got lost, but I think we need to find it again.
I wish people would be more accepting of others, listen to their story instead of putting them down. Everyone has had a long road that has helped shaped them into the person in which they have become.
The simple way that I am trying to better myself at everyday is to acknowledge people and listen to them. Treat them with the most kindness that I know how. This pertains to every person that I meet, differences in my opinion do not matter. We have become a world that is filled with hate. Where did all the love go?
In my final thought I will say this, it does not matter race, sexual orientation, economic status, handicapped or not, every person on this planet deserves the same respect as the next person.
Sorry this was not training/racing related, but I just needed to step up on my soapbox for a moment.
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