tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10756284860878590012024-03-21T14:02:27.101-05:00For The Love of CompetitionA blog about the journey of life through the eyes of a twenty-nine year old kid. Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-37481669913806393552019-01-13T11:50:00.001-06:002019-01-13T12:21:00.580-06:00Allow me to introduce myself...again.<div>
For those of you who are new here, allow me to introduce myself...for those of you who have followed with me you can skip on down. My name is Jessica, but I go by Jess or Crash or The Martinator. So unless you're my 90 year-old grandma or you're about to ground me for joy riding in your Lexus, don't call me Jessica. I am a science geek with a masters and more letters after my name than actually make up my own name. I love to learn, like to a point where my parents have lost hope that I'll ever leave school, but hey student loans are erased upon death so I have that going for me...</div>
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I never announced this, but in August 2018 I accepted the position teaching anatomy & physiology at Kansas State University. I decided to leave a job and people that I love at Missouri State University for an opportunity and a new challenge. It's been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. There have been more skype calls and used phone minutes than ever before, many hours spent on the road driving back and forth and more tears shed than I care to admit, but you'll never grow in your comfort zone. I have big dreams I plan to conquer and unfortunately taking this step was one way to get me closer to those dreams. </div>
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I am a bionic human held together with dental floss, some fishing wire, a role of duct tape, and a couple of screws my surgeon found at the bottom of his briefcase; no lie here. A dozen surgeries in and I am still going (I really wanted to put strong after that, but at this point I'm just glad I'm still going, ha). I'm a former collegiate soccer player, nationally ranked off-road triathlete and mountain biker, an ultramarathoner and I've recently taken up snowboarding. So as you can tell from the all encompassing list above I do not enjoy adrenaline pumping through my veins what. so. ever.</div>
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This past August I had my fourth knee surgery. Yes, you read that correctly. Number four. After spending a week in the hospital and going into anaphylaxis three or four times while I was there, it was determined that my body was rejecting my previously implanted hardware in my reconstructed knee (from blowing it out two years ago). It was also determined that I had contracted Alpha Gal earlier in the summer...it's this awesome new food allergy that you get from a tick bite that causes you to become allergic to red meat *insert eye roll here*. Let's add that to celiac (allergy to gluten) and allergies to mangoes and pineapples. Ha the list of foods I'm able to eat is getting a little short these days...</div>
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The reason why I have decided to reintroduce myself and bring light to my food allergies is that I have decided yet again to push myself outside of my comfort zone and become a consultant with Arbonne. I was skeptical when introduced to them, I thought "oh great, another fad diet." But I wanted something that could help kickstart my nutrition and get me back into the gym after another surgery. My joints felt like crap and once I got to reading about them I was blown away at all of the science and clinical research that goes into their products...and as a cell & molecular biologist this carries a lot of weight with me. I gave them a try. I did the 30 days to healthy living with my own spin on it and their protein was the first one that didn't make my stomach hurt after ingesting. Anyway, I'm excited to try something new and embark upon this new journey. I'll be sharing my thoughts throughout and my progress along with more of my story of how I got to be where I am at today, should you want to hear it. Also, if you have questions feel free to give me a shout!</div>
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But for now I am off to watch some playoff football. </div>
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Until next time friends.</div>
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- j</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-87668586328090356812018-04-21T12:48:00.003-05:002018-04-21T16:33:40.531-05:00One Step Forward, Two Steps BackI'm sitting here in an empty house in the middle of the night contemplating my life, working on homework and stressing myself out like normal, and wondering how I ended up here. I think about the things that have happened, good and bad, in the last year and a half since I last blogged. It's been awhile. A long while.<br />
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A friend once told me the reason that he talked so much was that he believed he had a lot to tell the world. I love that, mainly because I am a person who talks all the damn time. Ask anyone, especially the people who are closest to me and they will tell you that I have to talk about things until I am blue in the face...I'll take a breath and continue talking that topic to death. Especially if it's a situation that involved me doing something wrong/hurting someone (I mean, come on...I'm writing a blog on it too for goodness sake). I have no idea why I am this way, but I have been this way for my entire life so I guess I will run with it. But in the last year and a half (besides my last lil post) I guess I just haven't had a lot to say.<br />
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Lately I've been on this weird kick of evaluating who and what is important in my life. Does it make me happy or cause me stress? Is this person making me better or worse? Am I satisfied with the life I am leading or am I merely going through the motions?<br />
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These questions have been stressing me the hell out. Mainly because I am a chronic over-thinker, like to the point where I can make myself sick...In fact I broke down in my professor's office yesterday, hysterical about something I said to someone that will probably not matter in the next month. But it happened and I need to look at why so that is doesn't happen again.<br />
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One of my goals this year was to let people in more, no not further in my front door or allow those to enter my closet of an office. I mean emotionally. I am AWESOME at keeping people at a distance, far enough that they can see I am blonde and have blue eyes - but not really, far enough they can see that I am sarcastic and goofy and apparently have a resting face that is equivalent to that of the human version of a grumpy cat. Nothing more and nothing less. They don't get to see the side of me that cries in her car at 2am because she hurt her friend's feelings or the girl that laughs so effing hard that she snorts and has snot running out of her nose. They don't get to see that because they are not in my bubble. I spent plenty of years being taunted and put down for my loud and big personality and my goofiness, so you better believe that the people I have allowed into my bubble have been thoroughly vetted. The only people that get to see that side are the ones who I trust with my heart in their hands.<br />
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I've lost a little bit of that happy girl...the one who laughs until she snorts. I miss her and her inability to hold a conversation because she's laughing too hard. The girl that laughs at jokes from three days ago or randomly busts out laughing in the middle of class. She's still here, but in hiding. I see glimpses of her now and again. I'm working on getting her back, but it will take some time and some self-love.<br />
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As I wrote in my last post I am not an emotionally attached person. I am that way for a multitude of reasons that I will not get into here, because frankly they're run of the mill at best and kind of boring. I run away when people get close enough to see my emotional scars. I have done this my entire life and I am TRYING so damn hard to not do this anymore. It's scary. It is literally one of the scariest things that I have ever done in my life. Scarier than traveling to China or being dropped from 300ft in the air attached to nothing more than a glorified piece of dental floss or jumping from a two-story rock in Honduras or relearning how to walk or when faced with the reality that I could die from complications of past surgeries. The physical pain I can handle and will embrace all damn day, but emotional and mental...uhhh yeah no. Don't sign me up for that. <br />
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One of the things that keeps me awake at night, besides my brain reminding me of my top 100 favorite songs of my life, is when I get scared or hurt by something or I have hurt someone, I shut down or accidently hurt people in return with my responses to things. I can become cold and distant almost immediately. It was a coping mechanism that I used growing up to avoid the pain I was in. It's hard to explain, but if you know me at all then you may catch my drift, maybe. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. I feel like I have been up and down and all over the place. This is not me, normally. Instead of running away, I have dug my heels in determined to stay put, and because I am insecure and uncomfortable, I have lashed out and said things I didn't mean, unintentionally hurting people that I love...which in turn causes me to lay in bed, hate myself and cry hysterically. When will I learn? Why am I this way? These are just a few of the questions that run through my head. The fact that I get uncomfortable and insecure has nothing to do with anyone other than myself and this weird need to have barriers up at all times. It's something that I always feel the need to explain and talk through, but let's get real...even my closest friends will get sick of hearing me ramble about the same thing, like I'm on a repeating loop. But because I am an over-thinker and an over-talker, I have a hard time of letting things go. It's fucking annoying, let me tell ya because I have some pretty awesome, badass people in my life who love me very much...which I know I make difficult at times, and who I love immensely in return. They remind me of this daily and yet I fail them more often than I would care to admit. And on the days when my world feels like it is crashing down around me and I feel like I have ruined everything I look back through my text messages from the people who I love and who love me in return (yes I am one of those people that screenshots texts that are meaningful). Because more often than not sometimes I need that reminder that I am doing okay in life, even though I falter, that my existence brings hope and joy to people, most days...and that one day I will look back and be stronger for the struggles that I have endured.<br />
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I've been trying to do a better job of letting people know how much they mean to me, simply by telling them, hiding notes, doing a task for them, asking them how they are and about their life (<-- I love when people ask me this) and then I sit and wait for an answer, not with the intention or replying, but to engage in a conversation with them. I BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN NEVER OVEREXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU CARE FOR SOMEONE (I'm serious about that, in case the all caps didn't give it away)...but none of those things will ever be enough if I keep having these [insert word here] that shows them otherwise. I've been praying a lot. The Big Guy upstairs and I are still playing phone tag, but I have been leaving quite a few messages lately. In earlier posts I have explained my struggle, struggle is not a good word here...but I can't think of anything better at the moment...with my faith. The only thing that I can continue to do is thank God daily for the people he has put in my life and promise to do better with each interaction, each day, each week by showing how grateful I am for them.<br />
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<i>"Please stop overthinking life like you have to have an answer to every feeling or situation. That's not how life works. We figure it all out by just living, by fucking up, by missing an opportunity, by seeking advice and not taking it. We learn what's important and what isn't. Sometimes we have no fucking idea what to do and it's scary but it's okay. Always trust your gut and know that everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to be. It always does. Relax, we were never in control anyway."</i></div>
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<i>- Anonymous </i></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-49297391199678273882018-03-04T12:53:00.001-06:002018-04-21T11:05:07.465-05:00All The Feels<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
I never know how to start these blog posts. I always sit down with something in mind that I want to talk about, the words flow through my head so quickly that I can't keep track of them and then by the time I sit down to write there is nothing. Absolutely nothing. Can I play the "brain card" here? If you don't get that reference you can look at my NYE post from a few years ago.</div>
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I'm sitting at my desk pondering where to start on my "to-do" list that includes 27 different things I need to get done, by yesterday. Needless to say I'm procrastinating, like normal. I've had enough caffeine to overdose a baby elephant so maybe I can get some things done later...</div>
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We're already in March, specifically the 63rd day of 2018. It blows my mind how fast time seems to move. Wasn't I just in Europe like last week? And preparing for my brother's wedding last month? They say time flies when you're having fun and let's be real, I have been having a lot of fun lately. I started a post recapping 2017, but I never published it. I don't know why. I got half through and decided it was boring so it is sitting in my draft folder. The beginning of this year was hard for me, I went through a breakup that affected more than I thought it would or should, I guess. For those of you who know me I am not an emotionally attached person, even though I try my hardest not to be, or at least hide it. "Try" being the key word there since my emotions might as well be tattooed on my forehead. It takes an extreme amount of work on my part to open up to people about my past, the hardships and traumas I've dealt with, my insecurities, my lack of self-confidence. I have perfected the art of putting up walls with people in order to prevent myself from being hurt, which is silly because how can you have a meaningful connection with someone if you aren't true to yourself and allow them to get to know the real you? (This is something that I question every. single. freaking. day). I'm working on this and I believe that it will be a life-long process. Anywho, my point is that I took a leap of faith last year and allowed myself to be emotionally vulnerable. It was scary as hell revealing my scars, physical and emotional, and essentially giving someone a look into the real me. It was scary and exhilarating and freeing and traumatic and ....insert any adjectives you'd like here. The experience was eye-opening for me. It taught me that by allowing myself to be vulnerable like that can lead to so much growth and healing. Even though the person that I shared that experience with is no longer apart of my life I can still look back and be thankful.</div>
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Fast forward to the beginning of the semester, classes have started (YAY! I love being back in school). I have met all kinds of new and interesting people. I am in my happy place. My walls are up, just enough that I can get to know new people, but they won't get to know me. I am comfortable, I am in my space. I am keeping everyone at arm's distance because that is what I do, from there is where I operate. *Cue new friend busting into my life demanding to be apart of it. Literally that's how I feel that it happened. At a point in my life where I was content to push everyone away, they kicked down my walls and illuminated my life in a way that few people have ever done. I have never clicked with someone so fast, as if you have known them for years, they seem to understand you better than you understand yourself. Never experienced the freedom to be truly and utterly my ridiculous self...to the point where I am laughing so hard that I am crying, snorting, and having trouble breathing. Or sobbing because of something that happened to me when I was younger. We connected on a level where I was comfortable sharing my deepest and most guarded secrets, ones that I have never even said out loud before. I allowed myself to be vulnerable again, even though it scared me...and still does every day. I feel like I give a piece of myself to everyone I let into my life and eventually I will have no more of me left to give to anyone else. I bring this up because I caught myself reverting back to the insecure little girl who is used to disappointment. I made a stupid comment that was met with a "what the hell do you mean by that?" look. As soon as I said it I had a sinking feeling, pit of my stomach I need to vomit feeling. I don't even know why I said it. Maybe I was uncomfortable with how close I have let myself get to this person, maybe I was trying to prepare myself for them to leave, or maybe...who knows. It was stupid on my part. This person has shown me nothing but love and acceptance and I backhanded them with an insult that wasn't even warranted. I hurt them, which makes me feel, I need something better than "absolutely terrible." I let my insecurities come out in a situation where they shouldn't have. We hugged, I cried, they laughed, all is right in the world again. </div>
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I decided to write about this because it has been bothering me lately. It bothers me that I continue to allow my past to dictate my interactions with people. Not everyone will take a piece of me when they go, not everyone will use me to further their agenda, people will be put in my life to love me and for me to love them. This process, for me anyway, is a lifelong journey. It is a way of continuing to discover who I am and allowing people to come into my life and embrace who I am, even if I am not quite there myself.</div>
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On that note I believe that is all I have to rant about for now. I thank God every day for the people who have come into my life and continue to love me unconditionally even on days that I struggle to love myself...and for people who allow me to love them the best way I know how.</div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-49346028973554416662017-10-29T10:54:00.000-05:002017-10-29T10:54:04.205-05:00Where Does the Time Go?It's been two and a half years since I blogged last. Where does the time go? Like seriously, how are we already going into 2018...<br />
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So much has happened in the last few years, but not much has changed. I'm still just a big kid trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up, but let's be real...I'm not planning on growing up anytime soon. Since I posted last I have:<br />
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- graduated grad school.<br />
- run multiple ultramarathons.<br />
- become an instructor of Anatomy at MSU.<br />
- broken my leg & blown out my knee.<br />
- come back from a career injury, again...<br />
- gone to Asia, TWICE.<br />
- backpacked Spain alone.<br />
- begun dating someone.<br />
- witnessed my baby brother get married.<br />
- started another degree.<br />
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So many things have happened, big life things, but yet I feel like my life is relatively still the same. I still go to school multiple times per week, to teach this time, not as a student (until next semester any way). I still am on the soccer field almost every night, and I am still exploring the world going on adventures and meeting new people.<br />
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2016 sucked. Like really sucked. I finished 2015 on a high note and rolling into 2016 it looked to continue that pattern, I went to Hawaii to visit some friends for my birthday and then headed on to China . I fell in LOVE with Asia. Had an amazing trip visiting some amazing friends, but then I broke my leg and blew out my knee. See ya life. I spent 4 months in bed. 2 surgeries. Countless appointments and I am still working back from that. But that's okay, I'm used to fighting my way back.<br />
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2017 though, now this year and been a year of many firsts. So far this has been an INCREDIBLE year. I started it off with a bang. I decided to backpack Spain, alone, which was probably one of the best decisions I have ever made. I met so many people from so many different countries. It was scary at first, but what an unbelievable experience. I worked on my Spanish and grew as a person. Couldn't ask for much more. <br />
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Then before I knew it we were at summer. In July my brother and my cousin both married their sweethearts. I have never had so much fun in my life or danced as much as I did at those weddings. I met my boyfriend at my cousin's wedding. I decided to take a leap of faith and ask one of my cousin's cute groomsman to dance...I really shouldn't use ask because I mostly just pulled him onto the dance floor. It was later into the reception, I had noticed him all night and I figured, what the heck! I ran up to him, grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. As I pulled this Army guy onto the dance floor I giggled as I said, "put that drink down, I need someone to dance with me...oh by the way, I'm Jess. Kevin's cousin." We danced the night away and have been together ever since. I love our story and the kind, sweet man that I took a risk on that night. Since summer this year there has been a lot of back and forth traveling for both of us, but you will find no complaining here. I'm happy with any time I can get with him.<br />
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The last big thing of the year, so far. I backpacked Asia with my best friend. We did China, Thailand, & Vietnam. What an adventure. We did so many interesting things. Saigon was not impressive, in fact we tried to leave early. The city was a typical big city with trash and graffiti everywhere, rats (gross), and touristy nonsense. We did visit the War Remnants Museum and see their view of the war. I knew the Vietnam War was bad, but lordy...<br />
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Thailand was probably the best of the Asia part of the trip. Surfing, swimming with elephants, driving a motorbike on the left side of the road were just a few of things we experienced...and the food. Delicious. Then after Thailand I got to spend an entire week with the BF. It was so fun! Definitely a change from our normal quick weekend trips to visit each other. I loved being able to just be with him. Doing normal life. Cooking dinner together, watching tv, working out. An experience I will not take for granted.<br />
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That has been life for me up until now. Sheesh, two and a half years. Don't worry friends, I won't take that much time off of blogging again I hope.<br />
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Until next time.<br />
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- j<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-71728326223483303252015-05-11T12:38:00.000-05:002015-05-11T12:39:21.129-05:00Onto the Next Chapter: Life & TrainingIt has been awhile since I posted any updates on training or life in general, so here is what has happened in the 3 months since my last post.<br />
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I completed my last classes as a graduate student last week.<br />
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I take my last final exam as a graduate student tomorrow.<br />
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I taught my last class as a graduate assistant.<br />
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I defend my thesis in two weeks and I'm done. <br />
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It is finally starting to hit me that my journey as a "college kid" is coming to an end. It is surreal and odd, but exhilarating and somewhat exciting. I have been in college working towards something, anything since 2007. I can't believe I even admitted to that. I feel as if I have turned into what others refer to as a "professional student." But on Friday when I walk across that stage, no more student here. The last thing on the to-do list is to prep for and defend my thesis. It has been a long road and there were many times that I thought that I would not be able to complete this journey (I guess I technically haven't completed it yet...). There were a lot of tears involved, a lot of curse words, and melt-downs, but I suppose that is what graduate school is for. To teach you how to be strong and fight for what you want, even if it is just a piece of paper with a shiny emblem on it. That piece of paper represents a lot. It represents all the plans I canceled, the holidays I missed, the friends that got left behind. It represents my family's support, my sanity (or lack thereof), the number of Friday nights spent at home or in the lab. It represents a part of me that I knew was there, but I had to prove to everyone else. But most of all it represents all the sacrifices my family and I have made so that I could pursue a dream. <br />
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It's scary to close a chapter of your life because honestly I have no idea what comes next. Do I get a grown-up job? Do I apply for more schooling? Do I become a snow bum and move to the mountains? So many questions and no answers. For once I think I am okay with that. I'm excited to see what comes next for me. <br />
<br />
Training Update -- for all of you who are curious about my training, well here is an update for ya! It's going great. I ran my longest run in 3+ years yesterday, 11 miles! I went slow and ran the entire way. I was nervous and anxious about this run, I didn't know how my body would respond. My back has been giving me problems for almost a month now. The run was great, the weather was nice, and I even got a nice little tan. That being said I am feeling even more confident about the 24k I have coming up at the end of the month at XTERRA Eureka Springs!<br />
<br />
I realized something yesterday with all that time to think. I am not a pretty runner, I am not graceful or elegant as I run. I turn red and look as if I might pass out, my form is mediocre at best, and don't get me started on that posture of mine, but amidst all of that, I am a runner. It doesn't matter how fast I go or the mileage that I do, all that matters is that I lace up those shoes and I put one foot in front of the other. I don't need a cute outfit or the newest shoes. All I need is my music, my shoes, and the road/trail. <br />
<br />
This journey so far has been interesting, it has helped me reconnect with a part of me that I thought died when I left the sport of triathlon. It has helped me realize that training for something bigger than yourself is more of a motivator that anything else. Running in support of the Rampy MS Foundation pushes me every day to be better because I know they are behind me 100%. I appreciate everyone who has given me words of encouragement and supported my cause. Because of you the fight against MS is stronger than it was before!<br />
<br />
I should probably finish up this last lab report. Until next time.<br />
<br />
- J<br />
<br />
If you would like to donate to my fundraiser you can follow the link below:<br />
<a href="https://www.purecharity.com/rampy-ms-research-foundation-teamenduraceforms-12">https://www.purecharity.com/rampy-ms-research-foundation-teamenduraceforms-12</a>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-92124415964362047002015-02-06T12:19:00.002-06:002015-03-15T16:04:20.687-05:0050k Training/Life Update It's been about three or four weeks since I announced that I am running a 50k. Here's an update on life since I dropped that bombshell.<br />
<br />
School has been CRAZY. I get up at 4 am most mornings and try to be at school by 5 so that I can get myself ready for the day, work on homework, or my thesis paper. Load up five classes on top of that and I feel like I am slowly going crazy. Running around trying to figure out what it is I forgot to do this time. <br />
<br />
Thesis paper is going okay. Slow, but progress is being made in some capacity...from what I am told that is a good thing. Teaching is GREAT. I love it, so much more than I thought I would.<br />
<br />
Free time has been scarce so my training has been sporadic. I manage to get in about three days of running each week...my long runs are already in the double digits! I feel great during my runs; strong, confident, like I could run forever (some days).<br />
<br />
I try and make it to Crossfit when I can...which isn't as often as I would like. But I still make a couple of times a week.<br />
<br />
I finally got my Donation Page set up so that anyone who wants to support me on this crazy ride of mine can! My 50k isn't until November, but I am starting my fundracin' early (you'll get it when you see my page). There you can read about my back story, if you haven't already heard me blab about it, as well as read about the Rampy MS Foundation. <br />
<br />
That is all I have for now, off to the library.<br />
<br />
If you want to donate following the link below. Thank you in advance for your support! I appreciate it more than you know!<br />
<br />
- j<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.purecharity.com/rampy-ms-research-foundation-teamenduraceforms-12">https://www.purecharity.com/rampy-ms-research-foundation-teamenduraceforms-12</a>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-25491360258186765052015-01-14T11:25:00.004-06:002015-01-14T12:40:00.069-06:00Running a 50k....Insane or Ambitious?Every year when this time of year comes around it gets me thinking. Thinking about my birthday and how much older I'll be. Did I accomplish what I wanted to or I thought I would by this age? Usually the answer to this is no. In fact I never thought that far in advance as a kid/teenager. I could hardly think past the next meal, let alone to what lay ten years down the road for me.<br />
<br />
I'll be 26 next month. 26?! I can't believe that I am on the downhill slope of my twenties. Where did my time go? That shouldn't be a question really, more like a statement. I know where they went, if you check in the library of my last two universities you'll find the last 8 years of my life in the "reference" section. I love school, that is why I am still here. At least that is what I tell myself most days...I either love it enough to continue on sticking around or I'm afraid of what the real world holds. If I'm honest, it's both. <br />
<br />
This semester will be a defining point in my graduate career as well as my life! I am technically in the last semester of my degree program, I am in the process of meeting all and more of my degree requirements and am finally moving in the right direction on my thesis. These next four months could be my last chance to put off wearing real pants anywhere. (As a college student I feel that being in school is still a valid excuse to wear sweatpants EVERYWHERE. When asked "why didn't you dress up to go out tonight?" "Oh yeah, I had a test today. My brain is more comfortable resting when I'm wearing sweats, but thanks for asking.") The decision I have before me now is whether to apply to PA (Physician Assistant) School, apply for my PhD, or to call it done and become an adult.<br />
<br />
So many choices, so little time.<br />
<br />
Oh and I started teaching today! It was amazing and so fun. I may be jumping the gun by saying that only after the first day, but it was great getting to share my passion and my knowledge about anatomy with students who are exciting to learn more about it! Or are there by no choice of their own. On top of that I am taking 5 grad classes. Yep you read that right, 5. I'm only on my third day and have barely slept, have papers and assignments that are due soon, but no one ever said that grad school was easy.<br />
<br />
Now that I have gotten all of those thoughts out of the way, the real reason behind this blog was to share with you a milestone that I have decided to tackle this year, a 50K! How crazy and exciting is that?! I am nervous yet excited to be taking on something of this magnitude. It was be a 31 mile trail run in November. Who would've thought I would ever tackle that. I have always wanted to run a marathon, but felt like that was something that I couldn't accomplish because of multiple hip surgeries. Now I say screw it, I'm gonna try anyway. Even if my body can't take the training load, at least I will know that I gave my heart and soul to it. The even cooler thing....I will be racing with Team Endurance for MS, which is an AWESOME organization out of NW Arkansas that has partnered with University of Arkansas to find a cure for MS. I am overjoyed to join them on my way to conquering this goal of mine. <br />
<br />
If you have any interest in checking them out, which you should, go to their website! <a href="http://researchms.org/">http://researchms.org/</a>; they are doing amazing things, and they are amazing people. Did I mention I know them? I think that ups my cred some. Kidding.<br />
<br />
Since I will be running for their team my goal this year is to raise $750 for their cause. Will you support me? You can give me a penny per mile or any amount of your choosing. Help us beat MS!Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-57204461347670063152015-01-04T14:34:00.002-06:002015-01-04T14:38:27.950-06:00See Ya 2014It seems all my friends are documenting their previous year so I thought I'd join the bandwagon and do the same. I decided this year to forgo the resolution, I try and better myself every day and I don't need the beginning of a new year to try and live up to some resolution I know I'll break by next week any way. 2014 was another year. It marked the final year in my graduate program, a family vacation, the marriage of a good childhood friend of mine, and many other memories. So instead of explaining I'll share them in pictures.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIOyY6UNuQBX7Ic80_QFQC1MPyznpbkOJmC63Fx1yK2rYjNB71JUY61TEix-qlx0cBWi9pTA3nFeU8HAJaVO4KZ_AvVuFg851F1RlkJ56KokCvekDuZ-MFyODjDNYN5dbdbFCVJe5efaBG/s1600/January.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIOyY6UNuQBX7Ic80_QFQC1MPyznpbkOJmC63Fx1yK2rYjNB71JUY61TEix-qlx0cBWi9pTA3nFeU8HAJaVO4KZ_AvVuFg851F1RlkJ56KokCvekDuZ-MFyODjDNYN5dbdbFCVJe5efaBG/s1600/January.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">JANUARY <br />
The beginning of the spring semester and shenanigans at the gym</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV7trF7D_am80-hMg7opXPjhrhBDr-HXhEhySOmSkNKs5FwsAERquBfnAvlD_LeWJI2MSzYboyGOaJbzU74Z4qhajVzFYwbK7eNOijBMCDnbjpNSvn1aQ9AYu-ktB_a7Cow7JytdR23NNT/s1600/February.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV7trF7D_am80-hMg7opXPjhrhBDr-HXhEhySOmSkNKs5FwsAERquBfnAvlD_LeWJI2MSzYboyGOaJbzU74Z4qhajVzFYwbK7eNOijBMCDnbjpNSvn1aQ9AYu-ktB_a7Cow7JytdR23NNT/s1600/February.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">FEBRUARY<br />
Celebrating 25, a snowstorm with Maximus, and the celebration of Hannah<br />
and her baby girl on the way!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtbN0yyEHEExHYiwcRd6GV99-p7-MCA5biv5JKzLyRjTCr2CQgo5n-hAx46WK-QjoYqR5QNDcjN6JUYy9WBm6jYy7juiwt9HgdFXp1WeShH_JAoLlLZo7u7CoaSYQoIydqaf2klp58GW86/s1600/MarchAprilMay.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtbN0yyEHEExHYiwcRd6GV99-p7-MCA5biv5JKzLyRjTCr2CQgo5n-hAx46WK-QjoYqR5QNDcjN6JUYy9WBm6jYy7juiwt9HgdFXp1WeShH_JAoLlLZo7u7CoaSYQoIydqaf2klp58GW86/s1600/MarchAprilMay.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MARCH/APRIL/MAY<br />
Welcoming Bear to the family, Eric introducing Max to Michelle's furball, <br />
and my entrance into the 600lb club.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSCx6_jmTxpiqVKdCXwuiHrZv8z3a28joJHQH1avLMkHxBAlcvghoy0a8FR53FgTjJJYoqnk4phmLcPf73ru6xvFERrxsN8oTZAV1NJuvJ5vZSH6EmwQcnWxV0uCo2dISrtNCf9k8EnTHG/s1600/June.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSCx6_jmTxpiqVKdCXwuiHrZv8z3a28joJHQH1avLMkHxBAlcvghoy0a8FR53FgTjJJYoqnk4phmLcPf73ru6xvFERrxsN8oTZAV1NJuvJ5vZSH6EmwQcnWxV0uCo2dISrtNCf9k8EnTHG/s1600/June.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">JUNE<br />
So much fun spending time with the Holmes Family in FL, the marriage of my <br />
good childhood friend Michael to his beautiful bride, and the rebirth of<br />
my love for mountain biking.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh127JuRMa4t1Nxz79ESREW3qiOnLK34EyTRwNmBhxlGSgPT7ya1eYS6wGtqga2HdZZ4ZZb7zi0ScX0tQLH1XT3f8ud9TSPP2i_TqIaGsWeKV1LU5JLiJSk1cuW1jPt8DSH0f6w4tN9xmck/s1600/July.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh127JuRMa4t1Nxz79ESREW3qiOnLK34EyTRwNmBhxlGSgPT7ya1eYS6wGtqga2HdZZ4ZZb7zi0ScX0tQLH1XT3f8ud9TSPP2i_TqIaGsWeKV1LU5JLiJSk1cuW1jPt8DSH0f6w4tN9xmck/s1600/July.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">JULY<br />
Running the Ninja Turtle 5k, Michelle & Eric hard at work putting up hammock<br />
stands, traveling to VA with Junk Brands and my favorite ginger, float trip with the CF417<br />
crew and celebrating Lee's "Birthday Girl'" birthday with a great ride.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD4spEIDK_0XLu4B3QXExBYMJq01Rq5137TUjjPhYbilRnPtYNWNXb3jp-apo_n2mH83P3wP1X6ngbR_2PyNftsV8qwbFdyAlMWBo3Ubs362oy9YV96a7xoqPGs-iYj0KkUz3VJNOO1Sv9/s1600/August.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD4spEIDK_0XLu4B3QXExBYMJq01Rq5137TUjjPhYbilRnPtYNWNXb3jp-apo_n2mH83P3wP1X6ngbR_2PyNftsV8qwbFdyAlMWBo3Ubs362oy9YV96a7xoqPGs-iYj0KkUz3VJNOO1Sv9/s1600/August.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AUGUST<br />
On the road again with Junk Brands and the broski, my cousin being deployed to<br />
Afghanistan, and another care package from my favorite company, SKIN STRONG.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4W7VXr-BIk54Kr2bNNWx_lRJNM__PTtOHO5QMssjrAr_NAFJaVpbyrvpQk3re_A_2FbFkxPFhvAW_hgrp2s9pEzHwrRybb1ec7U660myQfL_XL5-Zgrl1fg6jBquXE3O6Smbjd2jWw_g/s1600/September.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp4W7VXr-BIk54Kr2bNNWx_lRJNM__PTtOHO5QMssjrAr_NAFJaVpbyrvpQk3re_A_2FbFkxPFhvAW_hgrp2s9pEzHwrRybb1ec7U660myQfL_XL5-Zgrl1fg6jBquXE3O6Smbjd2jWw_g/s1600/September.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SEPTEMBER<br />
Completed the endurance mountain bike challenge, Thorn-A-Thon with a PR 26 miles, and<br />
the loss of our beloved Maximus at 13 years old. RIP baby boy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQmxN6T4AK4ItGcAeFiQ50i-5t2KUua2iuWHMuhtGcty3STV7kvyaW-jz7Ukkbo_5AVbt5OEuzAIl3sYUDhmTTflqtULTsYzrF9OhAOJcTnftE_AThSr9G1YCSn-UTVuRq_ThjTFWrkIyJ/s1600/October-November.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQmxN6T4AK4ItGcAeFiQ50i-5t2KUua2iuWHMuhtGcty3STV7kvyaW-jz7Ukkbo_5AVbt5OEuzAIl3sYUDhmTTflqtULTsYzrF9OhAOJcTnftE_AThSr9G1YCSn-UTVuRq_ThjTFWrkIyJ/s1600/October-November.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OCTOBER/NOVEMBER<br />
Celebrating Eric's birthday with Michelle, Bear Bear over for a visit, and introducing <br />
the family to the love of cycling.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DECEMBER<br />
Saying goodbye to the BEST lab group ever, taking family Christmas photos, attempting<br />
to take puppy pics, adoption of Cinna-bon - the newest edition to the Martin Crew, <br />
and celebrating the New Year with 5 of the coolest people under the age of 10.</td></tr>
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-20264746172629084242014-12-07T10:21:00.003-06:002014-12-08T15:56:23.141-06:00Goodbye For NowIt's been 75 days since my best friend passed away. I originally wrote this post shortly after his death, but couldn't post it until I felt strong enough to accept the fact. My furball is gone, but his memories live on and I believe that a part of him lives on within me. As I consider a new addition to our family I am overwhelmed with emotions and what ifs. I am scared and excited, but I know that Max would've wanted us to show love to another furball companion. He would've wanted his life celebrated and not his death mourned. <br />
<br />
Maximus, I will always love you. For you are the thing that got me through some of my toughest years. May you rest in peace. Until we meet again.<br />
<br />
Love always,<br />
J<br />
<br />
It's with an extremely heavy heart that I write this post. My cuddle-bug, my shadow, and most of all my best friend passed away. It'll be two weeks on Tuesday that Max left us. Two weeks. It seems like the world is moving while mine is standing still. It seems as if time has taken on a new meaning. My days are short and my nights long. I find myself dreaming about him or finding something of his randomly placed around the house and I am overcome with emotion again. He fought so hard to stay with us. He was fighting even as he took his last breaths in my mother's arms. He would've done anything to stay with us just a little longer, I would've done anything for him to stay longer.<br />
<br />
The bond that you create with an animal, especially with that of a dog is one that is everlasting. It is hard to explain the bond that Max and I shared. I loved him more than most humans in all honesty. His company was all I needed to make a bad day instantly better. He was always sitting at the door waiting to greet me when I got home from school, whether that be in the middle of the day...or the middle of night. He loved to have his nose rubbed and to be loved on. If he felt you hadn't given him an adequate enough belly scratch, he would come back nudging your hand for more. He loved the snow, oh how he loved it! I remember his first encounter with it, he slowly crept into the yard unsure of what he had encountered. It took no more than a minute for him to fall in love and run around scooping the snow up into his mouth and rolling around in it. There was a spark in his eyes and a desire for adventure in his soul. One that up until his last few days served him well, as well as landed him in doggie jail.<br />
<br />
I feel an emptiness and a hole in my heart. The area that Max took up the second I saw him at the animal shelter. A hole that will not be filled anytime soon, perhaps never at all. I cannot explain in words the immense sadness and overwhelming loneliness that I have felt. People don't allow you to grieve when it is a pet that you've lost, as if an animal doesn't deserve the acknowledgment as a human death does. I believe that I was closer to my dog than I am to many of my human friends. I need to mourn, to miss, and grieve the loss of him because he MATTERED. For the longest time he was the only one I had. He mattered so much to me. I could lay on the floor and cry and he'd just lie next to me. He was always so excited when I got home, whether he got left in the dark or accidently left in the rain or even as I got out of the shower.<br />
<br />
His presence and love made everything instantaneously better. I miss everything in my house being covered in his hair, his constant fidgeting during naptime, his "purring" and nose kisses, but most of all I miss his love and his companionship. His constant "shadow" quality, his love for the wind and the snow, but extreme hatred of anything related to water. The feel of his fur and his awful dog breath. What a gentle and beautiful soul he was. What a blessing he was to myself and my family.<br />
<br />
My baby boy, my Maximus is finally at peace and pain free - that is something that I can take comfort in. The hole will always be there, but his memories will dull the ache. <br />
<br />
My Maximus 08/11/2011 - 09/23/2014<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-36714191553092832212014-08-11T14:14:00.000-05:002014-08-11T14:24:34.067-05:00My Maximus<div align="center">
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<em>"The bond with a dog is as lasting as the ties</em></div>
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<em>of this earth can ever be."</em></div>
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<em>- Konrad Lorenz</em></div>
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Dogs are special creatures. They can change your world if given the opportunity. Thirteen years ago today my best friend entered this world. He has defied me, loved me, explored with me, and been there when all I needed were some furry ears to listen. Today is my puppy's thirteenth birthday and this is what I wish I could say to him...<br />
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Dearest Maximus,<br />
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Ever since you entered our lives that October morning back in 2001, you have been a blessing. You have been through so much with our family. You brought light into it when there wasn't much. After thirteen years, four moves, who knows how many chew toys and boat rides, you are still as happy as you've ever been. I wish that I could share this day with you and take away some of your pain as you have taken away some of mine. It hurts my heart to know that you don't have much longer left with us, but hopefully these last few months can be filled with lots of walks and even more adventures. You always were one for exploring, from the caves at Devil's Den to chasing deer through the woods as we chased you, it has been a glorious ride. <br />
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You've always been one step behind us, making sure that your family is looked out for. Whether that be at the soccer park or the front yard. You've managed to do things without anyone noticing, like sneaking into the house, taking a nap in the back of the neighbor's van, or taking yourself for a walk; you never cease to make us laugh. You are one of the weirder dogs I have ever met. One who does not bark, or fetch, or like water, or other dogs for that matter, which is funny and probably accounts for your stealth like qualities. <br />
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Max, you are my cuddle-bug, my partner in crime, my grass eating, snow-loving, shadow of a best friend. I miss hearing the clicking of your nails on the wood floor of my house, your breathing while I study, the constant fidgeting while I nap, and your company. I know that grandpa, grandma, and mom are taking great care of you in these final months, just know how much I love you and that when you are ready to let go, it's okay. Even though you are 91 years old today (human years) you will always be a puppy in my eyes.<br />
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Happy birthday you furball and may you somehow sneak your way into the cookie jar for an extra birthday treat.<br />
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Forever and always,<br />
Jess<br />
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Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-10713780664629640252014-06-12T14:14:00.004-05:002014-06-12T17:21:49.660-05:0025 Things I Have Learned in My 25 YearsIt's hard to believe that I am already 25! Sheesh where did the time go? I feel like it was only yesterday that I was going to high school football games and making a decision on which college to attend...and now I'm a masters student and half-way to 30. What?! <br>
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The idea for this blog came to me the other day while wandering around the grocery store and looking around at the people who were aimlessly wandering the aisles. <br>
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I love watching people and thinking about their lives and the experiences that I have encountered in my own life. So I decided to come up with a list of the top twenty-five things that I have learned throughout this journey of life.<br>
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<strong><u>1. Help people whenever you can</u></strong>: I find immense joy in helping people. It makes me feel good to know that I was able to give back, even if that means the only thing I was able to do for them was to put away a shopping cart. You never know what people are going through, so extending a smile and a helping hand can make all the difference.<br>
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<strong><u>2. People will come and go, and that is OK:</u></strong> I have met and lost many friends throughout my life. In the beginning it was hard for me to understand why on earth a friend would leave my life, why all of a sudden the bond that we shared wasn't as sacred anymore, but then I realized it's all in God's planning. Maybe someone only needs you to be in their life during a certain time, maybe it's during a joyous time, or a time where they need a support system. It's OK that people enter and exit your life. Those rare friendships that last a lifetime will always be there, you don't have to talk every day, you just pick up where you left off.<br>
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<strong><u>3. There is no finish line or time-limit:</u></strong> This one took me FOREVER to figure out. I always thought that things had to be completed within a certain time-span; whether that was college or my masters degree, having a family, etc. I wanted everything done on a time table. As I've gotten older and hopefully wiser I've realized that things will happen in their own timing. I'll finish my masters when I am done with it, that might be next year, may be two years from now. <br>
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<strong><u>4. I am a CLUTZ:</u></strong> there is no way around this, I lose things, trip over my own two feet, and can't hold onto anything to save my life. There's a reason my parents didn't name me Grace. <br>
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<strong><u>5. Do what YOU want</u>: </strong>this concept also took me a long time to grasp. I have to do what is best for me, whether or not that upsets others. <br>
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<strong><u>6. Judging, is well...stupid:</u></strong> there are so many people out there who will judge you. They will judge you for the clothes you wear, the words you say, or the people you are around. Pay zero attention to them. Also the flip-side is true as well, do not judge others. I can't say that I am perfect and I never judge people because that would be a lie. I try my hardest not to. It shouldn't matter what color, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, or the make of their vehicle is; don't judge, period. <br>
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<strong><u>7. Respect is earned, not given:</u></strong> this is one of those typical clichéd sayings that I was taught as a child. I agree with it to an extent. Just because someone doesn't show you respect does not by any means give you the right to be rude in return. Slap a smile on that face and give them respect anyway.<br>
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<strong><u>8. You can't make everyone happy:</u></strong> I try so hard to do this, SO HARD. Although at the end of the day, it just isn't possible. Sometimes you need to take a step back and ask yourself "am I doing enough to make myself happy?"<br>
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<strong><u>9. Trying to forgive is hard:</u></strong> letting go of whatever hurt you in the past and forgiving that person is physically and emotionally painful, but forgiveness is freeing...<br>
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<strong><u>10. My family is my everything:</u></strong> like I mentioned earlier, people will come and go from your life. People will hurt you and leave you, but what I have found is that my family is always there. Always there as my cheerleaders or to help pick me up when I have stumbled. Without them I would be nothing. Literally.<br>
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<strong><u>11. Cherish your loved ones:</u></strong> there is no more painful feeling than the loss of a family member or friend, I've experienced too many deaths or brushes with death throughout the last year, more than I would ever care to experience in a lifetime. Tell people how you feel about them. Tell them you love them while you still can, because sometimes by the time you get around to it they're gone.<br>
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<strong><u>12. Social media is dumb:</u></strong> I say this, and later this blog link will be posted to my FB page. I just think that social media is a breeding ground for drama and too much information. I stay on there to keep in touch with my friends and family who live far away, but wouldn't it be easier to just pick up the phone?<br>
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<strong><u>13. Put. The. Phone. DOWN:</u></strong> this is something that drives me bonkers, about myself and others. These days we can't go anywhere without our beloved smart phones. We are so obsessed about "staying connected" that we miss out on what's going on in front of us. When you are with people, put the phone down and truly be with them, that instagram update can wait until later.<br>
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<strong><u>14. Learn to laugh:</u></strong> I like to laugh. I think laughter is a great cure for things. I've even learned to laugh about the serious things. My family and I joke about my mom's cancer and my brain injury, we joke about my clumsiness and my grandma's forgetfulness, we even joke and have competitions about who has the better scars. Life is taken so seriously. I do believe that there is a time to be serious and to treat situations such as cancer with the fear that it deserves, but after that has passed you have to learn to laugh about it. If you don't that fear, anger, and sadness will drive you deep into a dark hole and who wants to be in a place like that? Not me.<br>
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<strong><u>15. Don't be afraid to ask for help:</u></strong> No I'm not talking about asking for help with your math homework or help moving boxes, I'm talking about needing someone to talk to. I've dealt with a lot of crap in life and it wasn't until I got older that I realized that those issues I never worked out as a child still haunted me as an adult. There is NOTHING wrong about seeking help from someone, or seeing a therapist. For whatever silly reason needing help is looked down upon in our society, I think that is ridiculous. Sometimes you need someone with an outside perspective to help you see/deal with things better. I was in a dark dark place after my accident coupled with my mom's cancer diagnosis, had I not admitted that I needed help, I may not have been around today to even write this blog.<br>
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<strong><u>16. Exercise:</u></strong> Go out and move! Find whatever it is that makes you happy and do that. Go run, ride a bike, powerlift, do CrossFit, join a yoga class, do something that gets that body moving! You'd be surprised at what an amazing stress reliever it is. It doesn't matter what you do, just that you have a passion for it. There is not one right exercise regimen that is ideal for everyone, so do yours and don't bash others.<br>
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<strong><u>17. Never forget where you came from:</u></strong> Never ever forget where you came from and what it took to get you to where you are today. I've seen gyms or club meetings that preach "forget your story." Why?! Why would you every want to forget your story? Your story coupled with your experiences and the people involved in that story are what molded you into the person who you are today! Remember your story and let it make you proud.<br>
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<strong><u>18. Being angry is a waste of time:</u></strong> I've tried it. I've tried to be angry with people or with myself and you know where it got me? Nowhere. It's detrimental to your well-being and seriously, who likes walking around angry all the time? I do have a temper, it just comes with my personality, but I try to let things go, even though I am not the best at it sometimes. <br>
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<strong><u>19. Remember to thank the people who helped get you to where you are:</u></strong> I think sometimes we forget the massive number of people who have helped us out in life. We forget about how far our parents had to drive us for soccer games, or the hours spent helping out with homework. We forget those are the things that helped us get to where we are today. I have my grandparents and my mother, along with my professors to thank for as far as I've gotten. Lord knows without their help I wouldn't have made it this far.<br>
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<strong><u>20. Let people talk:</u></strong> people may talk about you or criticize you for certain things or choices you've made, it's your life. So tell them to shut up and just walk away. <br>
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<strong><u>21. Ask lots of questions: </u></strong>I am curious, curious about everything around me, therefore I ask a lot of questions which I know can be annoying at times. Without questions how would we ever get any answers or learn to do things differently?<br>
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<strong><u>22. Stand up for yourself and others:</u></strong> you may not make friends doing this, but you will gain respect, that I can guarantee. Stand up for who you are and what you believe it. Don't be afraid to stand up for someone else too. It may be scary, but totally worth it.<br>
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<strong><u>23. Gain a sense for adventure:</u></strong> I love to travel to new places, whether they are national or international. I love learning about and experiencing new cultures. I've traveled to many different countries and learned about and met so many interesting people. Those experiences have helped shape me.<br>
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<strong><u>24. </u></strong><strong><u>Don't change yourself for anyone else:</u></strong> be confident in who you are, the right person will come along and love that quality about you.<br>
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<strong><u>25. Love people:</u></strong> I think the title explains itself. Without love in this world where would we be?<br>
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<strong><u></u></strong>Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-44394138483255441182014-05-23T19:24:00.001-05:002014-05-23T19:28:50.776-05:00"Hey God, It's Me Again."<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I think it’s funny how in times of need, heartbreak,
tragedy, or sadness we turn to God with our problems, but rarely do we turn to
him during our joyful times. I am not one to preach about when you should be
talking to God, in fact I should not be preaching about anything. At all. I am
what you would call a “casual Christian” and that term can be applied loosely.
I feel bad saying that out loud, let alone posting it here on the internet for
the entire world, I mean the handful of people who actually read my blog, to see.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I come from a Christian family, I was raised in
church, and then somewhere during middle school and junior high I lost touch
with God, for all the wrong reasons. By the standards of the church I grew up
in I was different, a difference that now doesn’t mean even the slightest, but
it did back then. I was different in the fact that I came from a broken home,
wait a minute, what? Yes, you read that correctly. I was different because my
parents split up, the kicker here…I was alienated out of my church youth group
because of it. I was taunted at school and I eventually became the outcast who
no one wanted anything to do with. I ate lunch alone most days of my junior
high and high school years and I was a loner. Shocking to think about that now.
I lost touch with God because some stupid “mean girls” in my junior high youth
group did not think my presence was worthy enough of theirs. My
interpretation, if you aren’t good enough for your OWN CHURCH GROUP, then who
are you good enough for? My answer. No one. I spent a lot of time, tears, and
lonely years believing that. Something that I still actually struggle with to
this day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I lost touch with God for a long time, in fact I
wouldn’t say that we’re in touch quite yet. It’s like we’ve been playing phone
tag for the last 5 or so years…only now have I starting leaving messages. What
brought me back to God was nothing other than a typical clichéd scene that
could’ve been seen in any movie. A loss brought me back into church, maybe not
all the way back to God, but it got me in the door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">It’ll be two years this summer since I got diagnosed
with a TBI (traumatic brain injury). Something that stripped away my racing
career and with that went my soul. The only place I was sure of was church. So
I went. I sat in the back, alone. I listened to the music, only standing when
necessary to be polite and speaking with no one. I gazed at the stained glass
and cried. I cried for the loss of myself, and I cried because my life was
spinning out of control and I had no idea how to fix it, or myself for that
matter. Then 6 months later my mother was diagnosed with cancer…I found myself,
once again searching for something of certainty. Again I found myself in a pew.
I never really prayed, I never asked God “why me?” or “why my family?” I just sat
there, almost comatose, just listening and smiling when appropriate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I wish I could say I have progressed from there, but
not really. I mean maybe a little. I now go to church once a week with a friend
who was brave enough to invite me. I don’t feel a connection yet, but in due
time I suppose. I have talked to God a few times, although with no reply. I’m
sure he’s listening…I just probably talk too much for Him to get a word in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Religion is interesting. It can bring people closer
together and it can destroy relationships. I think the word religion is too
heavily used. So many people get focused on the rules of religion that they
forget about the relationship. A relationship between them and the creator
Himself. But like I said earlier, I am not one to preach. My only hope is that
one day I can work my way back to a relationship with the big man upstairs. I
know he is there and he is listening, I guess I just need reassurance. A sign
of sorts from him to let me know that my voicemail was received. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Just some random thoughts from yet another sleepless
night. As I close out I’m sending God a text letting him know that I’m thinking
about him and thanking him for the blessings in life…until next time friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">-j<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-73318053317150021002014-05-11T10:38:00.000-05:002014-05-11T12:20:04.407-05:00For My "Mama Bear"I think it takes a selfless person to become a mother. A person who will give her body, her soul, and the rest of her life to raising a little munchkin that has been created. It takes a person who has compassion and strength, it takes a person with resilience and an insurmountable amount of love in their hearts. It takes courage, dedication, and most of all it takes a very special person.<br />
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I always took Mother's Day for granted, as I think a lot of us do sometimes. Another dictated holiday in which society tells you it is time to love someone. Don't get me wrong I love my mom to the moon and back, I just don't need a certain day to tell her that. Over the last year and a half Mother's Day has taken on a new meaning to me and let me tell you why...which means we'll have to go all the way back to the beginning.<br />
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First off, a little bit about the glorious woman whom I refer to as "Mama Bear." My mom was the person who always wanted to have kiddos. Always. Although for a very long time my parents were unable to get pregnant, fertility treatments and the works yielded no progress. I don't know what my mom said to the big man upstairs, but it worked and within a span of two years she had two tiny monsters running around the house (okay, one. I was clearly the good child). Fast forward a few years, my parents decided to call it quits, (that's okay, their prerogative), a lady who is raising two kids alone, without a job, and somehow making everything work. On a side note, my brother and I were always up to something, whether that was testing out a new skate ramp, or playing street hockey in the neighborhood, all the way down to being chased by a neighbor while playing ding-dong-ditch. The divorce was hard on everyone, something like that changes you. I don't know how that woman did not lose her sanity over our ridiculous amount of shenanigans, broken bones, and calls from the principal's office.<br />
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Let's jump forward another couple of years to me leaving for college. I went to school only two hours away from home, not far, but my mother managed to attend every single home soccer game that I had. Whether I started or not. Oh, did I mentioned that she did this AFTER attending my brother's soccer game as well, four hours north of where I was?<br />
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My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. Cancer is something that I hope you, as my reader and people everywhere, never have the pleasure of meeting. Cancer is vile and emotionally destroying, not to mention physically destroying. While she had her moments of break-down and question, she fought through it. Even to this day she is feeling and experiencing the pain that cancer brought to her life. Medications that make her sick, but she manages to keep pushing through.<br />
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This woman has suffered so much throughout her life, she's dealt with a divorce, kids, who I know gave her gray hair (don't tell her I said that), and she's battled cancer. She is someone who does everything for others and never asks for anything in return, in fact it is actually banned at our house to give Mother's Day gifts. She works extremely hard to make sure that my brother and I are taken care of, on top of pushing us to chase our dreams. She has helped me chase my dreams, even if it meant leaving for awhile, or moving away, she is always there telling me to go for it.<br />
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My mom has supported us through college and graduate schools, she has allowed my brother and I to make decisions that probably weren't the best at the time, but she realized we needed to find out for ourselves, and learn from it. She is one of the most supportive human beings that I have ever met. In fact, she is spending her Mother's Day helping me study for finals. Words cannot express the amount of gratitude that I have for this woman. It is truly my honor to have been raised by her and to know that she is always around whenever I need her. She has held my hand through many challenging and painful experiences, she has been the person I run to when my heart has been broken, and she is the woman who I am happy to call my best friend. She has given her life to my brother and I, so that we can be successful.<br />
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This Mother's Day takes on new meaning because I have her here with me, a luxury that I didn't think I would get to experience again. So once you've wiped the tears off your face (which I am doing at the moment) go out and call your mom or give her a big fat kiss. I think a lot of times that we take our mothers for granted, their selflessness and fortitude. Today is that day to really NOT take them for granted.<br />
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To all those mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day. Know that you are loved and appreciated, even though as kids we forget to show it sometimes. To my mom, I thank you for the opportunities you have given me, the lessons you have taught me, and the love you have shown me because without you in my corner cheering me on, there's no way I'd be the woman that I am today. So, I thank you for that.<br />
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May all you mothers enjoy your special day, you deserve it!<br />
<br />
-j<br />
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<br />Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-55777626828682925622014-02-25T14:10:00.002-06:002014-02-26T13:26:32.152-06:00It's About The Little ThingsI guess technically I need to change the heading of my blog...I'm no longer twenty-four, but the good 'ol quarter of a century. It's been a weird last few weeks. They've been stressful and kind of gloomy almost. I don't know what it was about my approaching birthday that made me so, sad.<br />
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Twenty-five is a weird age, I'm sure anyone reading this over twenty-five will laugh at me. It's okay, I can laugh with you too. For me, this birthday wasn't just another celebration to be had, but it was an eye-opening, life-contemplating, change in age. Am I where I thought I would be by this age? I have mentioned in earlier posts that I struggle a lot of a feeling of self-worth. Feeling like I am good enough to lead this life that God has so graciously given to me. I look around at the blessings that I have, the opportunities that I have, and the people in my life and for whatever reason I am still left with a feeling of emptiness inside. I feel like I haven't given back enough, helped others enough, or made a big enough splash into the pool of accomplishments to deem my life as meaningful. It is a terrible thought process to have, especially with all the experiences that I have had in my short twenty-five years. I've been to five different countries, been a nationally ranked amateur athlete, gained multiple fitness certifications, completed a college degree, had eight surgeries, raced in some of the most beautiful parts of the country, picked up and moved to Utah to chase a dream, and now I am in grad school. For whatever reason, it doesn't feel like enough.<br />
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My birthday came and went without too much of a fuss. I ended up getting strep throat and quarantined to my house for the week. The funny thing is, is that this BIG scary birthday that was around the corner was here and gone before I knew it...and guess what, I don't feel a darn bit different.<br />
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One night when I was upset about the foreseeable future, my brother sat me down and said to me "old age is something to be cherished because it is denied to many" (I'm pretty sure someone originally said that, but I will give him props). He was right, my growing older is a testament to my strength and resilience throughout life. It's about the journey and the experiences that I get to endure along the ride, it shouldn't be something that is feared. So what if I'm behind on the marriage & a baby thing, or that I'm going to grad school later than the people I graduated with, or even the fact that I enjoy a night of too much ice cream over a night on the town.<br />
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It's the little things in life that matter the most, not the big ones. I was paid, probably the best compliment of my life a few weeks ago, by a fellow Crossfitter. She said to me "Jess, God gave you the most awesome heart. The way that you care for others is amazing." I think about that comment a lot, it helped me to realize some things. It helped me realize that helping and being gracious to others is far more rewarding that anything of value could bring. The impression that those words left with me is one that will not soon be forgotten, whether she knows it or not, she helped pull me out of my 'black hole' I'd been in.<br />
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So onto the not so philosophical ramblings of the day. Like I mentioned earlier, birthday week was spent on the couch fighting with a fever and other things you don't want to know about...but my birthDAY was fabulous at my Crossfit box. One of my good friends Jess #2, technically my other half, surprised me with balloons, princess hats, and a sash to wear. You better believe that I WODed in that apparel. Very proudly too.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2-jb_Srbs_ot8R_NRtJVKGv_G79VY99P66qYIpN1bU8eHxp2rzLlPEizsrqL2hl0VSD4XvZgQujeT1cpphODiyxsxZKyeWPKOPYZq1rKeMhyphenhyphenqJ3DjALlffEXr0FQhT0a4QyhWCAJ49_N/s1600/IMG_5397.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW2-jb_Srbs_ot8R_NRtJVKGv_G79VY99P66qYIpN1bU8eHxp2rzLlPEizsrqL2hl0VSD4XvZgQujeT1cpphODiyxsxZKyeWPKOPYZq1rKeMhyphenhyphenqJ3DjALlffEXr0FQhT0a4QyhWCAJ49_N/s1600/IMG_5397.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jess #1 & Jess #2</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr35C4jf7oc8x_aradjFFd-BS-wVMBy3KHPfvQajCHuA77XcoZ5Xx9ddbVP0PFy0TiRKfpQQl3KlD-yZSqDFeAf7LxK_NE18KR8PD_aV3P2v__gM_cM6cfOrwtt-yb_RbgrHDDnSLFSdN/s1600/IMG_5398.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrr35C4jf7oc8x_aradjFFd-BS-wVMBy3KHPfvQajCHuA77XcoZ5Xx9ddbVP0PFy0TiRKfpQQl3KlD-yZSqDFeAf7LxK_NE18KR8PD_aV3P2v__gM_cM6cfOrwtt-yb_RbgrHDDnSLFSdN/s1600/IMG_5398.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All the ladies who joined in on the celebration.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYV2o2w1MguwmoAhLwpDkgG00z-ytjuNoY7q6IdMlddee1xDWuQ95L_7d2UkcEOXSDyZcCKi3FJA00EbtnuVUugp_3oL23C-i39GiwU3KoMun0NRIkFM96_yA4aBVhCIegzL8S14TQ_6wq/s1600/IMG_5401.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYV2o2w1MguwmoAhLwpDkgG00z-ytjuNoY7q6IdMlddee1xDWuQ95L_7d2UkcEOXSDyZcCKi3FJA00EbtnuVUugp_3oL23C-i39GiwU3KoMun0NRIkFM96_yA4aBVhCIegzL8S14TQ_6wq/s1600/IMG_5401.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks Jess #2! Best surprise ever!</td></tr>
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Our gym, <a href="http://www.crossfit417.com/" target="_blank">Crossfit 417</a>, has got some of the best people and coaches that I could ask for (Also a BIG thanks to my coaches, THE Nick J. & Jared S. for always helping me to become a better athlete). All of the people have become some of my closest friends and when we aren't hanging out at the gym, we're chilling with the munchkins in daycare...making sure to give shout-outs to our sponsors.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKQaxYzCdOfUga4ABIaU8oXXT41U5ybiiCN1nJtOrx0LT_k0ukyohYz88ozaVqneuHkr4WfIbx2pkYN8knTZB4egg5q07qWrYCrsCmNCK6HdiZ6VZil3KIc764E1Zmi2pxg7QnXF9Pb7qm/s1600/IMG_5437.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKQaxYzCdOfUga4ABIaU8oXXT41U5ybiiCN1nJtOrx0LT_k0ukyohYz88ozaVqneuHkr4WfIbx2pkYN8knTZB4egg5q07qWrYCrsCmNCK6HdiZ6VZil3KIc764E1Zmi2pxg7QnXF9Pb7qm/s1600/IMG_5437.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The newest face of Forged Clothing. Making sure to start them off YOUNG.</td></tr>
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Today for me was a big day. I got my FIRST full rope climb. Now I have been going to CF417 for more than a year now and I've barely even attempted one. The thought of climbing to the ceiling is something that I'd usually leave up to others, but today I succumbed to the peer pressure. As I was climbing all I could hear were screams of "you get on that rope!" and "come on Jess, almost there. Keep pushing!" I am definitely one of those athletes who works off of the crowd's enthusiasm, so when I was handed those tube socks (thank you Miss Kailey) and told to climb, well see ya later because climbing is what I did (definitely surprised myself with this newest feat).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQkN2WEUZM_do331O8ALR1aKI1EoSb3pHj9VXtUxFei8nxB3i-wscOAafYkd7vj6CNeTWTs1nUluYgCVkvSbBBMHlkYCUMv7dRsUzfEG39y7JjFi3EhwaLCvAHtm9VxPsUno2RAe8QUVx/s1600/IMG_5443.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzQkN2WEUZM_do331O8ALR1aKI1EoSb3pHj9VXtUxFei8nxB3i-wscOAafYkd7vj6CNeTWTs1nUluYgCVkvSbBBMHlkYCUMv7dRsUzfEG39y7JjFi3EhwaLCvAHtm9VxPsUno2RAe8QUVx/s1600/IMG_5443.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's a long way up...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidwgkbEUYmaIAKz8t40NGnnIpXgj0Tzu2i12pe5N6kNnW1Zrux6BSJMNTSS7dMv-9_0N9TnHI5FsS0xvh4Xo04RohGP_ICrYj0QUgrUapgfmRMFa9oSabbLHq4Kw3ClTRchkXaiB2C1zYE/s1600/IMG_5444.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidwgkbEUYmaIAKz8t40NGnnIpXgj0Tzu2i12pe5N6kNnW1Zrux6BSJMNTSS7dMv-9_0N9TnHI5FsS0xvh4Xo04RohGP_ICrYj0QUgrUapgfmRMFa9oSabbLHq4Kw3ClTRchkXaiB2C1zYE/s1600/IMG_5444.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...and even further down.</td></tr>
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I'll leave you with that friends, thanks to everyone who helped to make my special day, even more special, and to those who helped brighten my smile without even noticing. Until next time, stay cool and remember, it's all about the little things.<br />
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- j</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-23765871767719434312014-02-14T11:56:00.002-06:002014-02-14T11:56:53.697-06:00Valentine's Day. It's About LOVE, Period. Valentine's Day can be viewed in many different ways. It can be a day for the couples hopelessly and romantically in love, it can be a day to mourn the fact that you are single, or it can be a day to show love to anyone and everyone around you.<br />
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My grandpa loves to ask me every year if I have found a myself a valentine, and every year my reply is no. Always following that is the classic "well, why not??" He loves to probe into my life with questions about boys. I can't tell whether he's laying down a hint or he's just being goofy. I'll choose the latter. <br />
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As I got to college I was always so down when Valentine's Day rolled around and I was without a boyfriend, for yet another year. SAD is what my friends liked to refer to it as. Singles Awareness Day. Now looking back at it, how stupid we were to have that perception. As I've gotten older and wiser (I hope) I realize that Valentine's Day isn't merely for the couples with little animated hearts spinning around their heads, it's about love, PERIOD. It's about showing love to your parents and your siblings, love to the cashier who rings you up in the check-out line, or the elderly man/woman who needs help loading groceries into their car.<br />
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Having an outlook like that shouldn't be for just one day out of the year, but for all of them. Since I took that outlook my life has been much fuller. <br />
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I challenge you to go a little out of your way today, on this day of love and show some LOVE to a stranger or a friend. Even if it is something as small as a smile to a stranger on campus. If our world had a little more love in it, don't you think it'd be a better one? I certainly do.<br />
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Until next time friends, go spread the love. Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-24259197927042048322014-02-01T13:55:00.002-06:002014-02-01T14:08:54.047-06:00The Navy SEALs - Just the Inspiration I Needed. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was given the opportunity over my Christmas break to do a
lot of “fun” reading…in other words reading that wasn’t assigned or deemed
necessary for my schoolwork. I read multiple books that were enlightening,
others sad, and some inspirational. I love to read, always have, so when an
opportunity like this presents itself I’m all over it. There were three books
that I read this break that opened my eyes the most, were heavy on my heart,
and that left me with an incredible thirst to continue my journey towards my
chosen career path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For those of you who don’t know I am currently working on my
masters. A masters in Cell & Molecular Biology. I know what you are
thinking….and believe me, I have thought the very same things before. I began
this masters with the aspirations of becoming an accomplished Exercise
Physiologist, while those dreams are still there, they have been tweaked a bit,
for lack of better phrasing. With my work as a personal trainer and
conditioning with the MSU Men’s Soccer Team I knew pretty quickly that training
and performance was my passion. Helping a player get better at his/her sport or get back to their sport is so fulfilling for me. So I have decided to go to
Physical Therapy school after my masters and work towards my DPT. I’ll finally
be Dr. Martin. Ha. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over the break I read two books that will forever leave a
mark on my soul; <u>Lone Survivor </u>by Marcus Luttrell and <u>American Sniper</u>
by Chris Kyle. Two amazing books about the life inside being a US Navy SEAL. I
understand war and the need for it, even though I hate hearing on the news that
we have lost another one of our own. These books take you into the field with
these soldiers and it is almost as if you are experiencing the action firsthand,
that is how phenomenal the writing is. I cried through almost the entirety of
both books, and I am not normally a crier…ever. There was something about their
stories and their unselfish desire to protect and uphold the values of our
country, a country that is not always behind them, but at the end of the day will welcome them home with open arms. These
men are the true definition of what an American hero is, although I know from
reading that they prefer to be known as the silent heroes, but I just had to
give my little shout-out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I come from a Navy family. My Grandpa served in WWII at
Pearl Harbor, father at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and my uncle at the Naval Academy
and all of his various expeditions. I do not however know what it is like to
have a family member deployed…I will know that pretty soon as my cousin who is
an Army Ranger will be leaving for Afghanistan in the upcoming months. I cannot
imagine the immense pain that both parties must go through, so that I may
freely sit here and express my right to freedom of speech while lying in bed
and typing this blog, or working on my homework that is due for tomorrow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><u>Lone Survivor </u>is a gut wrenching story about
Operation Red Wing with four Navy Seals and a targeted Taliban leader. I’m sure
most people have seen the movie, which I think does a FANTASTIC job at telling
the story of that fateful day, but the book is something else entirely. The
description that Marcus Luttrell goes into about his brothers and the
hospitality of the Pashtun community is truly eye-opening. If you haven’t read
it I HIGHLY recommend it. You can visit the website<a href="http://www.lonesurvivorfilm.com/site" target="_blank"> </a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u><a href="http://www.lonesurvivorfilm.com/site" target="_blank">here</a>. </u></i></b>The movie is
unlike any war movie I have ever seen before. Maybe it was because I read the
book first, but it was amazing. The movie gave even more life to the book and
put you into the middle of the battlefield where you saw and experienced the
pain that these SEALs endured. You were able to see the acts of selflessness of
these men in fighting to protect the red, white, and blue. My favorite line
from the movie was by Matthew Axelson’s character, “you can die for your
country, but I’m going to live for mine.” He fought to the death in honor of
America. Mike Murphy and his last attempt to call for help, climbing to the top
of a cliff to gain more reception to make that last phone call, the one that
put him directly into harm’s way so that he could save his brothers, it makes
me tear up as I write this. Danny Dietz, what a man of true grit. He had lost
his hand, been shot in the leg, the back, and the head….was being dragged and
still shooting at the Taliban. He would’ve kept fighting has a bullet to the
throat not taken his life. The last guy of the squad, Marcus Luttrell. The lone
survivor of the group, who lives on to share his story of that day. How they
had to fall down a mountain three times trying to make it to better ground.
THREE TIMES. He goes on to share his experience about being captured and then
having members of the Pashtun community take him in as one of their own,
fighting to the death to keep him alive because of a standard that their
community upholds. I don’t know how ANYONE could read this book and NOT come
away unchanged. This book is on my heart as I think about my activities in my
daily life. I think about this book when I am training. NEVER again will I
complain that a training session is too tiring or that my body is giving out
because well, that's just crap, it is my mind that is quitting. If those SEALs
can survive for that long after taking gunshot after gunshot to the body and
having no food or water, you better believe I can make it through a workout for
heaven’s sake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<i>Been around the world twice. Talked to everyone once. I've seen two whales f*ck, been to three world fairs. I even know a man in Thailand with a wooden cock. I've pushed more peter, more sweeter, and more completer than any other peter-pusher around. I'm a hard-bodied, hairy-chested, rootin', tootin', shootin', parachutin', demolition double tap crimpin' frogman. There ain't nothing I can't do. No sky too high, no sea too rough, no muff too tough. Learned a lot of lessons in my life. Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet. Drove a lot of trucks. 2by's, 4by's, 6by's and those big motherf*ckers that bend and go 'shhh shhh' when you step on the brakes. Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards. I'm a lover, I'm a fighter, I'm a UDT SEAL Diver. I'll wine, dine, intertwine, and then sneak out the back door when the refueling is done. If you're feeling froggy then you better jump because this Frogman has been there, done that, and is going back for more."</i></div>
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<i>- Shane Patton (in Lone Survivor) </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I guess I had never given it much thought as to what our
Special Operations guys do over there. All I really know is what I see on the
news or hear over the radio, which doesn’t give our soldiers the credit that
they so deserve. I have often been moved when I see a veteran walking somewhere
in their uniform. I want to go up and hug them, about let alone kiss them out
of gratitude and everything that they have done for this beautiful country of
mine. I usually can’t get the guts to go up and say it though, for fear of…well
I don’t really know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My brother is super interested in the SEALs and what they
have to offer and what it means to be a SEAL, so I have all kinds of books at
my disposal. After reading <u>Lone Survivor</u>, I moved onto Chris Kyle’s book
<u>American Sniper</u>. This book is about America’s most decorated sniper and
the different missions and problems he faced throughout his four tours in
Afghanistan. This <a href="http://www.dmagazine.com/publication/d-magazine/2013/april/the-legend-of-chris-kyle" target="_blank">website</a> gives you a tiny glimpse into the person he was. He made it through those four tours, for the most part unscathed,
to unfortunately be killed on his home soil. God must have needed a good
soldier by his side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">The stories that Chris Kyle tells seem to be something only one would see in a movie, let alone have to live through. His book took you right into the field of battle, as did Lone Survivor, except his was a culmination of stories instead of one event. It was in his book that I found my calling. He describes when he he finally had to undergo dual knee surgeries after being caught under a wall that exploded from an RPG. He describes his rehab experience with a Physical Therapist who was a Certified Strength & Conditioning Coach, explaining the pain and frustration that he went through with this PT who was there with him every step of the way. Along with helping Chris Kyle to be the fittest he has ever been, allowing him to step back into battle without missing a beat.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">As soon as I read that portion of the book, I knew that that is what I wanted to do with my life. Help injured soldiers return to their passion, the battlefield. I love athletics and training players, but there is something that spoke to me after reading these two books. The desire to give back to those who have so valiantly put their life on the line for this country time and time again. That is something that takes a truly special human being, and if rehabbing someone that has done that is my contribution to the beautiful USA, then I would be honored.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">So Physical Therapy school is next on the list of my educational endeavours. I have no idea where yet, but I am so excited to get there. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">To the men and women of the armed forced who serve our country, I thank you. If it weren't for you, there wouldn't be a place to call the Beautiful U.S. of A. </span></span></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-91924053780948039972014-01-19T10:43:00.001-06:002014-01-19T10:43:08.179-06:002013: One for the BooksAnother year and another blog post. Too cliché? Never.<br />
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I know that I am WAY behind on blogging, especially with my New Year's post. I'm using grad school as an excuse. I checked and yes I am allowed to do that.<br />
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2013 turned out to be an amazing year. We, as a family, had some struggles, but boy did we make it through so much stronger. There were so many milestones and amazing moments that this blog post will more than likely not do it justice.<br />
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To start off 2013 my mom got diagnosed with cancer. I had some blog posts about this earlier in the year, but never posted them because...well I don't have a reason. Trying to wrap myself around the fact that my hero had been hit with such a hard blow was undeniably hard. Thankfully she has gotten through the worst of it and right now fingers are crossed. We are not in the clear yet, but every day is a closer step to that. <br />
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I had my first alumni weekend. If that doesn't make me feel old I don't know what will. Got to spend some time with friends I haven't seen in forever. It was a great weekend reconnecting with old friends, playing soccer with my old teammates, and giving one last goodbye to some of my favorite people on the planet.<br />
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My brother moved in with me. Ponder that one for a minute. Haha it has been a major adjustment trying to get used to a roommate after being alone for so long. We are still a work in progress, as you can imagine. <br />
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I got to go to Honduras and spend some quality time with one of my best friends from college. Went to a beautiful beach wedding, brushed up on my Spanish, and got to have an unforgettable island adventure.<br />
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I started grad school in August. Something that I have been working towards for a very long time...and in all honesty didn't think would happen. It has been a stressful, complicated, angering, but joyous and rewarding ride. I don't think I would change it for anything.<br />
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I joined an indoor soccer league, thanks to a nudge...ok push from one of my best friends from undergrad. We went 10-2 for the season. Not too shabby!<br />
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Our family experienced two major losses in the matter of a week. We lost a very close family friend and we lost my grandfather. Death is weird and I have problems understanding it. I imagine most people do. But I can say, with a full and happy heart, that both of these men are in a better place and no longer in any pain. Although they are greatly missed here we will be reunited with them soon.<br />
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I reconnected with my Dad. I don't talk about him much, if ever due to the fact we have had a strained/non-existent relationship for the last ten years. Growing up without a dad in my life has been hard, but something you learn to accept. I decided that after ten years of pent up anger that it was time to let it go and accept the fact that we're both human and mistakes have been made. You can't mend a shattered relationship quickly, but in time I think we can have a healthy father daughter relationship. In lots of time.<br />
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I've started making my way back to the Big Man upstairs. My journey is slow, but I am getting there. Bible studies and people who don't judge my quirkiness have certainly helped that. <br />
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I came to the realization about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be a Physical Therapist with a Strength and Conditioning Certification who works with injured soldiers. Helping to rehabilitate them and get them back to what they love doing. I feel like it is my way of giving back. How excited I am about my future, but there is so much work to be done. Work that I am excited to tackle. Once I complete my Masters in Cell and Molecular Biology I plan on going to the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program here at Missouri State.<br />
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Finally, I celebrated my one year anniversary with Crossfit 417. I know I talk about Crossfit all. the. time. but this gym has truly been a blessing to me. The people I've met and the friendships that I have made are irreplaceable. I found myself in this gym when I thought that I had lost everything. They helped me to rediscover myself off of the mountain biking trails. After that loss I had a huge hole to climb out of and I did that with the people who have become my family at 417.<br />
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2013 was a great year, but I am excited to see what 2014 has in store. It can only get better from here.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-63888937737661160402013-11-23T17:16:00.001-06:002013-11-23T17:16:58.201-06:00Another GoodbyeDeath is suffocating and can take the happiest of spirits and damper them. It brings with it an overwhelming feeling of grief, guilt, anger, and whatever other feeling you want to insert here. I mentioned in my last post that I had never fully experienced a death so close to home as the lose of my grandparent's best friend two weeks ago. It seems that God decided to call another one of his people home. <br />
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Last Monday I lost my grandfather. A man whom I hadn't spoken to in years, but with his passing it hit me like a freight train. Two deaths in a matter of eight days is taxing on the emotions. It's is taxing on the body, but most of all on the soul. My grandfather was a man of many things; he was stationed at Pearl Harbor during WWII, he was famous for his story telling, and he was a man that my brother and I looked to with amazement in our eyes. Grandparents are very special people. They've gone through their years of discipline with their own children and it is now an opportunity to spoil those grandchildren. Story telling was his way of spoiling us. My brother and I were the youngest of his grandchildren, by a good 10 years. Whenever he'd visit we would stay up for hours listening to him tell his war stories, jokes, or any random story of the troublemaking my dad and his brothers got into. Even as a child, every Christmas we would call my Grandpa Martin (thinking it was Santa) and go on and on about what we wanted, how good we'd been, and he would merely egg us on with further questions. <br />
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We lost contact when my dad and I parted ways, or should I say I parted ways with him. My grandfather couldn't understand what on this earth could move me to not speak to my father anymore, it was a story that he didn't need to hear. I regret the fact that he died upset with me, for not reaching out and making amends with him. It scares me because it makes me realize that my mom's parents don't have that much time left, and it makes me sad just to think about the relationship that was missed out on over the last couple of years. It makes you realize what you have and it makes you realize what you want.<br />
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I have an ache in my stomach for the men who were called home over the past couple of weeks. At least they were taken to a better place and without pain.<br />
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Death is hard, but undeniably inevitable. May you forever rest in peace and know that you were always loved, from a distance. Grandpa Martin 11.11.13Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-24856409980247022782013-11-09T11:56:00.002-06:002013-11-09T11:56:57.868-06:00"Are You Paying Attention?" - Sincerely, LifeLife has a great way of punching you in the mouth when you aren't paying attention, a kind reminder that you have gotten sidetracked with things. I got my punch in the mouth last weekend. Everybody and their mother knows that grad school has consumed my life...which is totally fine and I love what I am studying. I have a bad habit of secluding myself from the outside world when I am overwhelmed or stressed and I miss things, miss out on a lot of things I should say. <br />
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So far my first semester in grad school has been challenging, interesting, and above all mentally pushing (for lack of a better word). There is so much information out there that I am learning and have yet to learn. It is a fun and stressful experience all at the same time. With a commitment, one such as big as grad school, I am beginning to miss things. Miss my friends, my family, and normal hours and routines are beginning to change. Perhaps I am beginning to change. <br />
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This year has been a roller coaster with plenty of ups and certainly some downs. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in February. Something that a child never wants to hear. For so many years she had taken care of me and now it was my turn to step in and take care of her. For a recent update, she is doing well! She has passed all of her check-ups and looks to be in the clear. Cancer is scary, a scary word in itself and I pray that no one has to go through it or have a family member go through it. Unfortunately I got news last month that my best friend's mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. (This is the beginning of my punch in the mouth experience) when a friend's family goes through something like this, you go through it with them. You are there for support and encouragement, and hold the experience to perhaps ease their pain and fears, if only just a little bit. <br />
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I have a thing for people. When they hurt, I hurt. I care so much for the people who are in my life and who make it a great one. Earlier last week I got a call from a client who lost everything to a fire. Her dog and cat, her memories, and her home. My heart broke for her, even more so that there was nothing that I could do to help, but give her words of encouragement. Then last Saturday, (the full fledged punch) I got news that a close family friend passed away. Now I have yet to experience a death close to my family, so this was a first for me. Emotions ran rapid and I felt as if I couldn't control them. As my mom explained to me what had happened tears rolled down my face and my heart broke again, mainly for my grandparents and the wife of this beloved gentleman, as he was a major part of their lives.<br />
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Ted Cox, was my grandparents best friend. He was an integral part of my childhood/teen rebellion at the church where I grew up. Whenever he would come to our house for a visit he was always intrigued to know what was going on in my life. How is school? What are you studying? How many boys are chasing you? Typical questions. Ha. He was never without a joke or a smile and was loved by all who crossed his path. He reminded me of my grandfather, with his love for others and his reliance in answering my million questions. Ted was a retired veterinarian who loved helping people out with their pets. I have many memories of my grandpa, Ted, and I playing with my dog Max and him sharing his wealth of knowledge with me. He was a man with one of the kindest hearts that I have ever known and he is already greatly missed. It hurt to have to miss his funeral this weekend, and I pray that he's okay with that. I know he's looking down from heaven probably laughing about the whole thing. <br />
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I am not one who likes to talk about death, I think I have this secret hope that science will one day figure out a way for me to live forever. Haha. But when faced with tragedies such as this it makes me think. Makes me think about the person that I am and the one that I am becoming. What is it that I want to be remembered for? And the image that I want to leave behind?<br />
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I learned a long time ago that love and respect work far better than anger or hatred. I try to show love to everyone in my life. I try to go out of my way to make someone's day brighter or a little better, whether that be with a kind gesture or merely a smile. I've learned through this situation that time is precious, probably the most precious thing because ours is limited (cliché I know). I have learned that 20 seconds of insane, undeniable courage is better than none, and that doing things that excite you and scare you help you grow into a better and stronger person. I tell people how I feel because as I said, we don't have a whole lot of time on this planet, so why not go out on a limb to make someone's day better or tell someone that you care about them?<br />
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Believe me it's the best feeling in the world to open your heart to people, it may hurt sometimes, but the rewards are far better than the risks. I pray that I am remembered as Ted will be. A person who gives to and loves those whom she cares about, as well people I have never met. <br />
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May you forever rest in peace Ted. Know that we love you and miss you down here. Give God a hug for me will ya?<br />
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RIP Ted Cox 11.2.2013Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-17078293987291786002013-10-05T17:07:00.000-05:002013-10-05T17:07:05.327-05:00A Lover of Rainy DaysI am a lover of rainy days, sweaters, and the warmth of a good cup of tea. I love looking out my window and watching the rain pour day and listening to the tap of it upon my rooftop.<br />
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Rainy days for me are my favorite days. Not that I don't enjoy the sun! There is a serenity and calmness that comes with a rain storm. An overwhelming peace that is bestowed upon the day. I love the rain because it brings back childhood memories of rain boots there were too big and puddles that were never quite big enough.<br />
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I went to my very first football game on a rainy day. An Arkansas Razorback (Woo Pig Sooie) game to be exact. They won against Auburn, a daddy-daughter day that I absolutely adored. <br />
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The rain brings back many good racing/riding memories. It is a hell of a lot of fun to ride your mountain bike through the rain, just watch out for those tree stumps because they get slick...real fast.<br />
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So many soccer games were played in the rain. Those were the best! Mainly due to the fact that by the end you were mostly covered in mud...and it gave you an even better reason to slide-tackle someone. Many games were played in the rain, some lost and some won, but every moment of them was enjoyable.<br />
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I am a lover of rainy days, clouds, and thunderstorms. Those are my serenity. Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-65629562401334858152013-10-04T15:09:00.003-05:002013-10-04T15:09:36.415-05:00There is No Peace Without ForgivenessThey say you change a lot through your 20's. It should be a time to be selfish, figure out who you are, what you stand for, and who it is that you want to be. <br />
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My twenties so far have been a ride! Not that I am really that far into them, but boy have I changed, and for the better. I continue to grow and learn more about myself every day. Life is definitely a journey, one that is very much worth the ride...even with the potholes and bumps that we may sometimes seem to hit. <br />
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I've learned a lot about myself especially in the last two years. There is nothing spectacular about them, just major life changes that forced me to look deep inside my soul and ask myself who it is that I wanted to become. The person that I want to embody on a day-to-day basis, and the morals and beliefs that I want to stand behind.<br />
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Something that I have struggled with for years is forgiveness. There are certain people who have done things that I can immediately forgive and forget, and then with others with which I can't let go of the hurt. I don't like this and it is something that I try to improve upon every day. <br />
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Not many people know about the neglected/broken/[insert whatever phrase you'd like here] relationship with my father. In fact, many times in the past I have denied even having one. I know some of you will read this and immediately judge me for terminating that bond. There's a backstory, believe me. That decision that I made almost 5 years ago is a decision that I have had to live with. I am not a person who harbors hate, in fact I try to show love to everyone...even though I'm not the best at it sometimes. <br />
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This hate that I have held inside me for almost 15 years has helped develop me as a person, it has changed my outlook on things, and even the view of myself. How can a person who cares so much for others have so much hate for one man? This is a question that I have often asked myself, I have even sought the advice of others, and it all comes down to one thing...you must have the strength within you to forgive.<br />
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Forgiveness is a weird thing to me. In my mind it meant that I was condoning the act that hurt me. This is not the case, and it took A LOT of soul searching to be able to come to that conclusion. Just because I forgive someone does not in any way mean that I am saying what they did was okay, but that I have decided to understand the fact that they are human and they messed up, just as I have done plenty of times. Where would this world be if there were absolutely no forgiveness? We'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble, that's where we'd be. <br />
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As I have gotten older I have begun to understand that fact. We are all simple, not perfect people just trying to make it through each day the best way that we know how. Sometimes things don't work out the way we wanted or intended and someone gets hurt in the process. It's hard as a child, especially a little girl, to not put her daddy up on a pedestal. To believe that he is the greatest person to walk this earth and that he is in fact a hero. Something like that is hard to live up to as a person and I'm sure as a parent. I was shattered the day my father left. It left me with a feeling of emptiness and the feeling of being completely and utterly "not wanted." This is a feeling that I have buried inside of me for a long time. A feeling that I still fight with today. A feeling of regret for allowing myself to feel like that, and even more so, a feeling of anger towards myself that I have allowed myself to hold onto that much hatred. <br />
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I am one who is easily inspired...I happened to come across this quote a few weeks ago and it has stuck with me ever since. <br />
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<em>"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful that the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."</em></div>
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<em>- Marianne Williamson</em></div>
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With that quote swirling around in my head, I wrote a letter. A letter to my father. A letter that explained to him that I finally understood that he was human, just like me, and that he made a lot of mistakes and so had I. Mistakes that he would have to live with, and for the sake of my own mental health that I needed him to know that I forgave him. </div>
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I have written many letters to him over the years. They sit folded up at the bottom of a box in my closet. I have never had the courage, nor the strength to send them. Because like I said earlier, in my mind to forgive was to condone. </div>
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This was the first letter that was written, sealed, and then mailed. Upon dropping the letter in the mailbox it was as if ten tons had been lifted off my shoulders, weight that had been slowly suffocating me for years, I just hadn't noticed. I can only hope that this helps my heart hurt a little less and allows me to be a better person to the people I encounter along this journey we call "life."</div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-34541892202600663732013-09-15T11:03:00.002-05:002013-09-15T11:49:34.774-05:00Oklahoma and Honduras - A Majestic VacationIt has been ABSOLUTELY too long since I posted last. No excuse. It's been awhile since I have filled you in on the "happenings" of life, so here we go...<br />
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Summer is coming to an end, which is unfortunate because I feel like it just only got started. My tan is looking superb this year and I am ready to hit the beach! Organic chemistry is over, thank god. A class that has haunted my mind for far too long.<br />
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As soon as class was over I hit the road. Oklahoma being my first stop. Of course I had to meet up with Kurt! We played laser tag, which I got annihilated at, went out for GF pizza, and of course we got a CrossFit workout in. I don't know if I have ever in my life had so much fun pretending to prepare for the zombie apocalypse while getting shot to "video game" death by children all under the age of 7. Oh, and one "big kid" who just happened to work his way onto the "Day's Highest Scores" List. Two hours of straight sweaty, child scaring, James Bond attack-mode tactics fun, and so much laughter. After we'd had our fair share of laser beams and fake fog for the day we headed out for some GF pizza! Yum. Perfect comfort food after running around a building for multiple hours on end. Ha, but probably not the best idea before a CrossFit workout, but delicious non the less.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's WAY better at laser tag than I am, but what a great time! <br />
Tweedle-dee & Tweddle-dumb in action!</td></tr>
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The past couple of weeks have been craziness, but in a good way! After the end of my summer class I decided to take a spur of the moment trip to Honduras to visit my friend Flore! It was a great trip. 10 days in paradise was exactly what I needed. I helped out at the bilingual school she teaches at, I broke my nose falling off the jungle gym, and we laughed more than I can ever remember. Her brother got married while I was there. Right on the beach. Que bonita! It was a great ceremony and day. We danced well into the night, and because the humidity is ridiculously high down there I sweated through my dress. Literally all the way. I couldn't have asked for a better time!<br />
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Throughout the week a lot of time was spent at the bilingual school with little munchkins trying to help them learn English. What fun experience, even though stressful at times. Language barriers are a pain. Ha.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Someone got a hold of the camera...</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These kids were awesome! Also seemed to love the fact I had blond hair. Haha.</td></tr>
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My last weekend there we decided to take a trip to one of the islands off the coast of Honduras, Utila. It's only about 5 x 8 miles and there are no cars allowed, only golf carts, four wheelers, and scooters. We barely made the ferry, it was like a scene out of a movie. Three girls sprinting after a boat pulling away from the dock...and then jumping onto it. Not even kidding, that's how it happened. It was once of the most exhilarating/terrifying experiences of my life. What a riot! My two friends barely made it, they had chosen to wear their sandals and those are a little harder to sprint in. After about an hour ferry ride we made it to the island. It was beautiful. Every where you look is white sand and water. We laid out on the beach, explored the town, and went snorkeling (even with my immense fear of sharks). </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I didn't venture too far from this spot the entire trip.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful sunset from my beach chair. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stephanie, Flore, and I on the beach. </td></tr>
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What a great trip! Cannot wait to go back. I'll save my update on grad school for another post! Until then, stay cool friends, stay cool.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-81788047485630409342013-06-12T11:56:00.001-05:002013-06-12T11:56:14.110-05:00XTERRA Eureka Springs - Rekindling of a SpiritThe past year of my life has been a roller coaster of trials and tribulations, with more downs than up. I do not want this to sound like I am complaining, just sharing another part of my journey. It ranged from the loss of a sport from my life due to injury, my mom getting diagnosed with cancer, and the daily grind that they call school.<br />
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This past weekend was XTERRA Eureka Springs. If you haven't been to these trails you need to go, whether on foot or bike. This place is beautiful, serene, and where myself as a racer and a rider was always at peace. The trails are some of the most technical that I have ever ridden, kind of weird when you think about all the trails out there. Lots of rocks and overhangs, tree roots, switchbacks, drop, and of course everyone's favorite...climbing! <br />
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This race for me was my home away from home (don't tell my Utah friends that), so coming back this year not as a racer, but a volunteer was something that I was looking forward to. I camped out in a trailer, rode jet skis, got lost trying to find my aid station, and rocked out to a boom box while directing bike traffic. <br />
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As much fun as I had volunteering I felt something that I haven't felt in a long time, the itch to ride. I haven't ridden my bike in over a year, the injury that I suffered was something that took me a long. stinking. time. to come to grips with. I didn't want to look at my bike, I wanted nothing to do with triathlon or bike riding. I was so angry, at who I don't know, the world I suppose. Being back out on my "home course" this weekend was something that I think I needed, I feel like my spirit has been rekindled. I can't wait to get on my bike and ride and ride and ride. I feel like I did when I bought my first mountain bike, a giddy little kid who just wants to ride for hours upon hours. Thankfully I think that was something that I needed, the little part that was missing that I could never pin down, just riding for fun is something that I lost sight of. I sold my garmin, own no watch, so the freedom of time is on my side.<br />
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The race this year got taken over by Cne' Breaux and Kevin Ruehle. Let me tell you, do they know how to put on one hell of a race! The course layout was changed from the previous years, integrating climbing and technicality that wasn't as daunting to newer riders. I only wish I could've been out there on a bike! The course set-up also allowed the racers to be more visible to the spectators, with the riders coming through the transition/finish line area four times. Whew did we have some screamin' and cow-bell ringin' going on! <br />
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The run course was changed slightly, along with the bike course allowing more visitors who were unfamiliar with the Eureka Springs territory to get a taste of what we have to offer in the Ozarks. Post race there was BBQ and a live band. <br />
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As I looked out from behind the food table and gazed around all I could see were smiles and people laughing, couples dancing to the music, and families/friends laughing and sharing their race stories over BBQ. That is everything that XTERRA is about; coming together for a common love, perhaps a little suffering in between, but non the less a great time. <br />
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I think that Cne' and Kevin did a kick-butt fantabulous job as newbie race directors, can't wait to hear what they are already brainstorming for next year...Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-69229336902103365712013-05-29T12:18:00.002-05:002013-06-10T10:45:51.166-05:00My Crossfit Story<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love to hear the stories of people’s lives. It makes me
feel like I have been a part of something in their life or that I am important
enough for them to share. I love seeing the way people light up when they speak
of different things, an interest, a lover, or a funny childhood memory. I have
many stories of my own; this particular one is my Crossfit story.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I started Crossfit just under 6 months ago, boy does time
fly. I remember my first encounter with a WOD (workout of the day), it was 5
pull-ups, 10 pushups, and 15 air squats; as many rounds as possible in 5
minutes. When it was over I was lying on the ground gasping for air, at that moment I knew it was for me. It doesn’t take me long to get hooked on things. Soccer took me all of
a day to fall in love, triathlon took a little longer, about a week, but
Crossfit took me all of 3 and a half minutes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have spoken of my first month at the box and the
impression it made, the way I felt I had changed, and the goals that I had
already met. The people are what truly make the experience. There is something
reassuring about suffering through something together, somehow it seems easier
to accomplish. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Crossfit has forced me to confront issues I never thought I
would deal with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We live in a society
where “thin is in”, I unfortunately fell prey to this during high school and
the first few years of college. We are taught as young girls that you must look
a certain way, have certain hair, and lead a specific life to be considered
beautiful, which is something that I have struggled with for many years. The
thing that Crossfit has taught me is that my body is beautiful and pretty damn
powerful. Never in my LIFE did I think that I would be able to deadlift 240
lbs! In all honesty, I never really wanted to. My body is not something that
should be punished with starvation diets or silly cleanses, but a machine that
needs to be well fueled; a perspective that I have never had. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My Crossfit box has done more for me mentally than anything
else. Yes, I have gained significant amounts of strength and power, but being
able to overcome my mental hurdles is something that means more to me than
anything else. As a personal trainer I am supposed to be proud of my body and
the work that I have put into it, going to Crossfit has allowed me to do that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Crossfit has shown me that strength is beautiful, throwing weights is awesome, and there is power in community. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love my Crossfit family and the things that they have
taught me.</span></div>
Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1075628486087859001.post-71467309806105346322013-05-24T18:38:00.002-05:002013-05-24T18:38:45.425-05:00Summertime = ProgressIt's that time again. The sun is out, the trees are blooming, and pineapple whip season is in full swing. Summertime is finally upon us. The semester is over with and I couldn't be happier. I'm looking forward to a summer full of too much sun and some major working out.<br />
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A lot has happened since my last blog so let me fill you in! Got my acceptance letter to MSU's Cell & Molecular Biology Masters Program, am uber stoked about that. I will start classes in the fall, but will spend the summer learning lab techniques and how to play with the mice. My brother and his best friend moved in...that I am still getting used to. Ha. Have decided to take a summer class just to make sure I stay busy and don't spend all of my free time playing around at the Rec, as much as I love this place.<br />
<br />Oh! Couple things I did forget to mention...an update on my Crossfit journey. That could not be going any better. I am making PR's left and right. I got my max OH Squat to 95 lbs, 240 lbs on Deadlift, and 175 lbs on Squat! Holy freaking crap. Was FINALLY able to master a handstand against a wall last week, couldn't get a push-up out of it, but that day I'm sure isn't far away. I even got my one real pull-up! (Yes I had 2 male witnesses) New Year's Resolution completed! How many people can say that? Didn't think I'd be saying that this year. It is amazing the transformation in my body that I can see and feel. I feel myself getting stronger every day and the results I see in the mirror aren't too shabby either. <br />
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That is all the new news that I have to report, so until then friends, stay cool. Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13022182749405989291noreply@blogger.com0