Maximus, I will always love you. For you are the thing that got me through some of my toughest years. May you rest in peace. Until we meet again.
Love always,
J
It's with an extremely heavy heart that I write this post. My cuddle-bug, my shadow, and most of all my best friend passed away. It'll be two weeks on Tuesday that Max left us. Two weeks. It seems like the world is moving while mine is standing still. It seems as if time has taken on a new meaning. My days are short and my nights long. I find myself dreaming about him or finding something of his randomly placed around the house and I am overcome with emotion again. He fought so hard to stay with us. He was fighting even as he took his last breaths in my mother's arms. He would've done anything to stay with us just a little longer, I would've done anything for him to stay longer.
The bond that you create with an animal, especially with that of a dog is one that is everlasting. It is hard to explain the bond that Max and I shared. I loved him more than most humans in all honesty. His company was all I needed to make a bad day instantly better. He was always sitting at the door waiting to greet me when I got home from school, whether that be in the middle of the day...or the middle of night. He loved to have his nose rubbed and to be loved on. If he felt you hadn't given him an adequate enough belly scratch, he would come back nudging your hand for more. He loved the snow, oh how he loved it! I remember his first encounter with it, he slowly crept into the yard unsure of what he had encountered. It took no more than a minute for him to fall in love and run around scooping the snow up into his mouth and rolling around in it. There was a spark in his eyes and a desire for adventure in his soul. One that up until his last few days served him well, as well as landed him in doggie jail.
I feel an emptiness and a hole in my heart. The area that Max took up the second I saw him at the animal shelter. A hole that will not be filled anytime soon, perhaps never at all. I cannot explain in words the immense sadness and overwhelming loneliness that I have felt. People don't allow you to grieve when it is a pet that you've lost, as if an animal doesn't deserve the acknowledgment as a human death does. I believe that I was closer to my dog than I am to many of my human friends. I need to mourn, to miss, and grieve the loss of him because he MATTERED. For the longest time he was the only one I had. He mattered so much to me. I could lay on the floor and cry and he'd just lie next to me. He was always so excited when I got home, whether he got left in the dark or accidently left in the rain or even as I got out of the shower.
His presence and love made everything instantaneously better. I miss everything in my house being covered in his hair, his constant fidgeting during naptime, his "purring" and nose kisses, but most of all I miss his love and his companionship. His constant "shadow" quality, his love for the wind and the snow, but extreme hatred of anything related to water. The feel of his fur and his awful dog breath. What a gentle and beautiful soul he was. What a blessing he was to myself and my family.
My baby boy, my Maximus is finally at peace and pain free - that is something that I can take comfort in. The hole will always be there, but his memories will dull the ache.
My Maximus 08/11/2011 - 09/23/2014
