It's About The Little Things

I guess technically I need to change the heading of my blog...I'm no longer twenty-four, but the good 'ol quarter of a century. It's been a weird last few weeks. They've been stressful and kind of gloomy almost. I don't know what it was about my approaching birthday that made me so, sad.

Twenty-five is a weird age, I'm sure anyone reading this over twenty-five will laugh at me. It's okay, I can laugh with you too. For me, this birthday wasn't just another celebration to be had, but it was an eye-opening, life-contemplating, change in age. Am I where I thought I would be by this age? I have mentioned in earlier posts that I struggle a lot of a feeling of self-worth. Feeling like I am good enough to lead this life that God has so graciously given to me. I look around at the blessings that I have, the opportunities that I have, and the people in my life and for whatever reason I am still left with a feeling of emptiness inside. I feel like I haven't given back enough, helped others enough, or made a big enough splash into the pool of accomplishments to deem my life as meaningful. It is a terrible thought process to have, especially with all the experiences that I have had in my short twenty-five years. I've been to five different countries, been a nationally ranked amateur athlete, gained multiple fitness certifications, completed a college degree, had eight surgeries, raced in some of the most beautiful parts of the country, picked up and moved to Utah to chase a dream, and now I am in grad school. For whatever reason, it doesn't feel like enough.

My birthday came and went without too much of a fuss. I ended up getting strep throat and quarantined to my house for the week. The funny thing is, is that this BIG scary birthday that was around the corner was here and gone before I knew it...and guess what, I don't feel a darn bit different.

One night when I was upset about the foreseeable future, my brother sat me down and said to me "old age is something to be cherished because it is denied to many" (I'm pretty sure someone originally said that, but I will give him props). He was right, my growing older is a testament to my strength and resilience throughout life. It's about the journey and the experiences that I get to endure along the ride, it shouldn't be something that is feared. So what if I'm behind on the marriage & a baby thing, or that I'm going to grad school later than the people I graduated with, or even the fact that I enjoy a night of too much ice cream over a night on the town.

It's the little things in life that matter the most, not the big ones. I was paid, probably the best compliment of my life a few weeks ago, by a fellow Crossfitter. She said to me "Jess, God gave you the most awesome heart. The way that you care for others is amazing." I think about that comment a lot, it helped me to realize some things. It helped me realize that helping and being gracious to others is far more rewarding that anything of value could bring. The impression that those words left with me is one that will not soon be forgotten, whether she knows it or not, she helped pull me out of my 'black hole' I'd been in.

So onto the not so philosophical ramblings of the day. Like I mentioned earlier, birthday week was spent on the couch fighting with a fever and other things you don't want to know about...but my birthDAY was fabulous at my Crossfit box. One of my good friends Jess #2, technically my other half, surprised me with balloons, princess hats, and a sash to wear. You better believe that I WODed in that apparel. Very proudly too.

Jess #1 & Jess #2

All the ladies who joined in on the celebration.

Thanks Jess #2! Best surprise ever!

Our gym, Crossfit 417, has got some of the best people and coaches that I could ask for (Also a BIG thanks to my coaches, THE Nick J. & Jared S. for always helping me to become a better athlete). All of the people have become some of my closest friends and when we aren't hanging out at the gym, we're chilling with the munchkins in daycare...making sure to give shout-outs to our sponsors.

The newest face of Forged Clothing. Making sure to start them off YOUNG.

Today for me was a big day. I got my FIRST full rope climb. Now I have been going to CF417 for more than a year now and I've barely even attempted one. The thought of climbing to the ceiling is something that I'd usually leave up to others, but today I succumbed to the peer pressure. As I was climbing all I could hear were screams of "you get on that rope!" and "come on Jess, almost there. Keep pushing!" I am definitely one of those athletes who works off of the crowd's enthusiasm, so when I was handed those tube socks (thank you Miss Kailey) and told to climb, well see ya later because climbing is what I did (definitely surprised myself with this newest feat).

That's a long way up...

...and even further down.

I'll leave you with that friends, thanks to everyone who helped to make my special day, even more special, and to those who helped brighten my smile without even noticing. Until next time, stay cool and remember, it's all about the little things.

- j