Mentally Cleansing

6 weeks. It has been 6 weeks since my last race. Where did the time go? Why or how did I let it get away from me? It doesn't matter how it happened. All I know is that it did.

So instead of letting anymore time get away from me I decided to race this past weekend in Lincoln, Nebraska. The XTERRA B.O.L.T. known for its climbs that would kill your legs for the 5 mile run that lay ahead. Thank goodness we pre-rode. I have never been on a course so...odd. It was muddy, and unkept with tree limbs and safari grass growing through and over top of the trail. With short steep climbs it wasn't the hardest course I had ridden but it was certainly one of the oddest. I felt good after the pre-ride ready to conquer my next feat.

A good night's rest and an early morning and we were at the trail-head setting up transition. Most of the people had yet to look at the course let alone ride it...what? Not pre-riding or scoping out the course was something that was foreign to me. Whatever it just meant that the race was in my favor.

Time for the swim, good my strongest section. I started off at the front like normal. Started with my normal pace and suddenly I couldn't hold it. My arms were heavy and my breathing staggered. Towards the end I started cramping. 30 minutes in and this was happening? I finished the swim barely. Ran to transition and quickly strapped up for my longest bike yet. 1:07 in transition...finally my times are coming down! As soon as I got a mile or so in my legs were toast, my HR was through the roof...couldn't get it down, even when I stopped. All I wanted to do at that point was survive. I walked the climbs and flew down the descents, trying to make up so much of the time that I had lost. I had to stop once to try and get the caked on mud off my bike. Thank goodness we sprayed the tires with PAM first. What a life-saver.

Two hours later I was off the bike...thank goodness. Into T2, flying dismount. Ha so much fun. Then off on the run. I was so dead, no energy left in my body at all. I tried so hard just to run away from transition and the spectators. Then I tried to walk/jog which just turned into a walk. Trying not to throw-up or pass out I hit the first aid station, started talking to another participant and we decided to finish it together. I swear I probably asked this guy a million questions. Just to take my mind off the pain. It was great to have someone to talk to and someone else who was ready to throw in the towel.

We finished it together. 3:37:25. One of the most mentally challenging races of my life. But I finished it and did not quit. (God knows I wanted to). And somehow still came it first in my age group. 10th out of 13 women and 51st out of 60 competitors. Like I said all I wanted to do was finish.

This race taught me something. Not that fact that everyone will have a bad race because that is inevitable. It taught me that no matter how much you are hurting or mentally struggling you can always dig deeper to find that extra push to get you to the finish line. No matter what.