It seems that my first post got deleted so I will start over.
There the days that every athelte dreads of having. But every single one of them will encounter. The doubtful, tired, run-down, almost feeling run-over days. Today that was my day. I am usually the Energizer Bunny on crack (sota speak). A kid, that's really what I feel I am, that has too much energy and so many words to tell the world. Yesterday and most of today I am a down, mopy, and exhausted zombie. This is not what was called for in my training plan 2 days away from my first race. Graduation is tomorrow and I couldn't care less to be honest.
I got up this morning hoping to escape my house without having to make much conversation with anyone on the way out...and I was successful. I had so hoped that my swim would help slap a smile on my face. Usually exercising only gives me more energy but today was unsuccessful. The warm-up was off and the first set was brutally painful. I hit a wall physically, emotionally, mentally. I just sat at the end of the pool crying before I decided that today I could just not keep going. "What is going on with me? I am so much stronger than this." These thoughts flowed through my mind as I drove home and tried my hardest to put on a smile and pretend to look happy. My little brother and his girlfriend had a gradution breakfast for me. Only when that was over was I able to escape to the quietness of my room and release the rest of my pent of frustration with myself.
I suppose we have these days for a reason. To test us. So that we can see how much we are made of and whether or not we are willing to fight for it. My really good friend once told me "We all have our demons, it's whether or not we fight them that's makes the difference." Thanks Curry. Those words of wisdom are helping me right about now.
Jess you inspire so many you can do anything. Relax you know what you need to do for your race. You are physically stronger than you need to be now find that mental toughness you have and go at it.
ReplyDeleteHuh....3 paragraphs and you said a lot! Jess, let yourself feel all you have been through and accomplished. You are done with college! You graduate tomorrow! Maybe you are feeling a little bit of a let down? So let it down baby! Chill and let yourself feel what your feeling. Then tomorrow go celebrate your hardwork and dedication. And Sunday go kick some ass.
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