For My "Mama Bear"

I think it takes a selfless person to become a mother. A person who will give her body, her soul, and the rest of her life to raising a little munchkin that has been created. It takes a person who has compassion and strength, it takes a person with resilience and an insurmountable amount of love in their hearts. It takes courage, dedication, and most of all it takes a very special person.

I always took Mother's Day for granted, as I think a lot of us do sometimes. Another dictated holiday in which society tells you it is time to love someone. Don't get me wrong I love my mom to the moon and back, I just don't need a certain day to tell her that. Over the last year and a half Mother's Day has taken on a new meaning to me and let me tell you why...which means we'll have to go all the way back to the beginning.

First off, a little bit about the glorious woman whom I refer to as "Mama Bear." My mom was the person who always wanted to have kiddos. Always. Although for a very long time my parents were unable to get pregnant, fertility treatments and the works yielded no progress. I don't know what my mom said to the big man upstairs, but it worked and within a span of two years she had two tiny monsters running around the house (okay, one. I was clearly the good child). Fast forward a few years, my parents decided to call it quits, (that's okay, their prerogative), a lady who is raising two kids alone, without a job, and somehow making everything work. On a side note, my brother and I were always up to something, whether that was testing out a new skate ramp, or playing street hockey in the neighborhood, all the way down to being chased by a neighbor while playing ding-dong-ditch. The divorce was hard on everyone, something like that changes you. I don't know how that woman did not lose her sanity over our ridiculous amount of shenanigans, broken bones, and calls from the principal's office.

Let's jump forward another couple of years to me leaving for college. I went to school only two hours away from home, not far, but my mother managed to attend every single home soccer game that I had. Whether I started or not. Oh, did I mentioned that she did this AFTER attending my brother's soccer game as well, four hours north of where I was?

My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. Cancer is something that I hope you, as my reader and people everywhere, never have the pleasure of meeting. Cancer is vile and emotionally destroying, not to mention physically destroying. While she had her moments of break-down and question, she fought through it. Even to this day she is feeling and experiencing the pain that cancer brought to her life. Medications that make her sick, but she manages to keep pushing through.

This woman has suffered so much throughout her life, she's dealt with a divorce, kids, who I know gave her gray hair (don't tell her I said that), and she's battled cancer. She is someone who does everything for others and never asks for anything in return, in fact it is actually banned at our house to give Mother's Day gifts. She works extremely hard to make sure that my brother and I are taken care of, on top of pushing us to chase our dreams. She has helped me chase my dreams, even if it meant leaving for awhile, or moving away, she is always there telling me to go for it.

My mom has supported us through college and graduate schools, she has allowed my brother and I to make decisions that probably weren't the best at the time, but she realized we needed to find out for ourselves, and learn from it. She is one of the most supportive human beings that I have ever met. In fact, she is spending her Mother's Day helping me study for finals. Words cannot express the amount of gratitude that I have for this woman. It is truly my honor to have been raised by her and to know that she is always around whenever I need her. She has held my hand through many challenging and painful experiences, she has been the person I run to when my heart has been broken, and she is the woman who I am happy to call my best friend. She has given her life to my brother and I, so that we can be successful.

This Mother's Day takes on new meaning because I have her here with me, a luxury that I didn't think I would get to experience again. So once you've wiped the tears off your face (which I am doing at the moment) go out and call your mom or give her a big fat kiss. I think a lot of times that we take our mothers for granted, their selflessness and fortitude. Today is that day to really NOT take them for granted.

To all those mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day. Know that you are loved and appreciated, even though as kids we forget to show it sometimes. To my mom, I thank you for the opportunities you have given me, the lessons you have taught me, and the love you have shown me because without you in my corner cheering me on, there's no way I'd be the woman that I am today. So, I thank you for that.

May all you mothers enjoy your special day, you deserve it!

-j

It's About The Little Things

I guess technically I need to change the heading of my blog...I'm no longer twenty-four, but the good 'ol quarter of a century. It's been a weird last few weeks. They've been stressful and kind of gloomy almost. I don't know what it was about my approaching birthday that made me so, sad.

Twenty-five is a weird age, I'm sure anyone reading this over twenty-five will laugh at me. It's okay, I can laugh with you too. For me, this birthday wasn't just another celebration to be had, but it was an eye-opening, life-contemplating, change in age. Am I where I thought I would be by this age? I have mentioned in earlier posts that I struggle a lot of a feeling of self-worth. Feeling like I am good enough to lead this life that God has so graciously given to me. I look around at the blessings that I have, the opportunities that I have, and the people in my life and for whatever reason I am still left with a feeling of emptiness inside. I feel like I haven't given back enough, helped others enough, or made a big enough splash into the pool of accomplishments to deem my life as meaningful. It is a terrible thought process to have, especially with all the experiences that I have had in my short twenty-five years. I've been to five different countries, been a nationally ranked amateur athlete, gained multiple fitness certifications, completed a college degree, had eight surgeries, raced in some of the most beautiful parts of the country, picked up and moved to Utah to chase a dream, and now I am in grad school. For whatever reason, it doesn't feel like enough.

My birthday came and went without too much of a fuss. I ended up getting strep throat and quarantined to my house for the week. The funny thing is, is that this BIG scary birthday that was around the corner was here and gone before I knew it...and guess what, I don't feel a darn bit different.

One night when I was upset about the foreseeable future, my brother sat me down and said to me "old age is something to be cherished because it is denied to many" (I'm pretty sure someone originally said that, but I will give him props). He was right, my growing older is a testament to my strength and resilience throughout life. It's about the journey and the experiences that I get to endure along the ride, it shouldn't be something that is feared. So what if I'm behind on the marriage & a baby thing, or that I'm going to grad school later than the people I graduated with, or even the fact that I enjoy a night of too much ice cream over a night on the town.

It's the little things in life that matter the most, not the big ones. I was paid, probably the best compliment of my life a few weeks ago, by a fellow Crossfitter. She said to me "Jess, God gave you the most awesome heart. The way that you care for others is amazing." I think about that comment a lot, it helped me to realize some things. It helped me realize that helping and being gracious to others is far more rewarding that anything of value could bring. The impression that those words left with me is one that will not soon be forgotten, whether she knows it or not, she helped pull me out of my 'black hole' I'd been in.

So onto the not so philosophical ramblings of the day. Like I mentioned earlier, birthday week was spent on the couch fighting with a fever and other things you don't want to know about...but my birthDAY was fabulous at my Crossfit box. One of my good friends Jess #2, technically my other half, surprised me with balloons, princess hats, and a sash to wear. You better believe that I WODed in that apparel. Very proudly too.

Jess #1 & Jess #2

All the ladies who joined in on the celebration.

Thanks Jess #2! Best surprise ever!

Our gym, Crossfit 417, has got some of the best people and coaches that I could ask for (Also a BIG thanks to my coaches, THE Nick J. & Jared S. for always helping me to become a better athlete). All of the people have become some of my closest friends and when we aren't hanging out at the gym, we're chilling with the munchkins in daycare...making sure to give shout-outs to our sponsors.

The newest face of Forged Clothing. Making sure to start them off YOUNG.

Today for me was a big day. I got my FIRST full rope climb. Now I have been going to CF417 for more than a year now and I've barely even attempted one. The thought of climbing to the ceiling is something that I'd usually leave up to others, but today I succumbed to the peer pressure. As I was climbing all I could hear were screams of "you get on that rope!" and "come on Jess, almost there. Keep pushing!" I am definitely one of those athletes who works off of the crowd's enthusiasm, so when I was handed those tube socks (thank you Miss Kailey) and told to climb, well see ya later because climbing is what I did (definitely surprised myself with this newest feat).

That's a long way up...

...and even further down.

I'll leave you with that friends, thanks to everyone who helped to make my special day, even more special, and to those who helped brighten my smile without even noticing. Until next time, stay cool and remember, it's all about the little things.

- j

Valentine's Day. It's About LOVE, Period.

Valentine's Day can be viewed in many different ways. It can be a day for the couples hopelessly and romantically in love, it can be a day to mourn the fact that you are single, or it can be a day to show love to anyone and everyone around you.

My grandpa loves to ask me every year if I have found a myself a valentine, and every year my reply is no. Always following that is the classic "well, why not??" He loves to probe into my life with questions about boys. I can't tell whether he's laying down a hint or he's just being goofy. I'll choose the latter.

As I got to college I was always so down when Valentine's Day rolled around and I was without a boyfriend, for yet another year. SAD is what my friends liked to refer to it as. Singles Awareness Day. Now looking back at it, how stupid we were to have that perception. As I've gotten older and wiser (I hope) I realize that Valentine's Day isn't merely for the couples with little animated hearts spinning around their heads, it's about love, PERIOD. It's about showing love to your parents and your siblings, love to the cashier who rings you up in the check-out line, or the elderly man/woman who needs help loading groceries into their car.

Having an outlook like that shouldn't be for just one day out of the year, but for all of them. Since I took that outlook my life has been much fuller.

I challenge you to go a little out of your way today, on this day of love and show some LOVE to a stranger or a friend. Even if it is something as small as a smile to a stranger on campus. If our world had a little more love in it, don't you think it'd be a better one? I certainly do.

Until next time friends, go spread the love.

The Navy SEALs - Just the Inspiration I Needed.

I was given the opportunity over my Christmas break to do a lot of “fun” reading…in other words reading that wasn’t assigned or deemed necessary for my schoolwork. I read multiple books that were enlightening, others sad, and some inspirational. I love to read, always have, so when an opportunity like this presents itself I’m all over it. There were three books that I read this break that opened my eyes the most, were heavy on my heart, and that left me with an incredible thirst to continue my journey towards my chosen career path.

For those of you who don’t know I am currently working on my masters. A masters in Cell & Molecular Biology. I know what you are thinking….and believe me, I have thought the very same things before. I began this masters with the aspirations of becoming an accomplished Exercise Physiologist, while those dreams are still there, they have been tweaked a bit, for lack of better phrasing. With my work as a personal trainer and conditioning with the MSU Men’s Soccer Team I knew pretty quickly that training and performance was my passion. Helping a player get better at his/her sport or get back to their sport is so fulfilling for me. So I have decided to go to Physical Therapy school after my masters and work towards my DPT. I’ll finally be Dr. Martin. Ha.

Over the break I read two books that will forever leave a mark on my soul; Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell and American Sniper by Chris Kyle. Two amazing books about the life inside being a US Navy SEAL. I understand war and the need for it, even though I hate hearing on the news that we have lost another one of our own. These books take you into the field with these soldiers and it is almost as if you are experiencing the action firsthand, that is how phenomenal the writing is. I cried through almost the entirety of both books, and I am not normally a crier…ever. There was something about their stories and their unselfish desire to protect and uphold the values of our country, a country that is not always behind them, but at the end of the day will welcome them home with open arms. These men are the true definition of what an American hero is, although I know from reading that they prefer to be known as the silent heroes, but I just had to give my little shout-out.

I come from a Navy family. My Grandpa served in WWII at Pearl Harbor, father at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and my uncle at the Naval Academy and all of his various expeditions. I do not however know what it is like to have a family member deployed…I will know that pretty soon as my cousin who is an Army Ranger will be leaving for Afghanistan in the upcoming months. I cannot imagine the immense pain that both parties must go through, so that I may freely sit here and express my right to freedom of speech while lying in bed and typing this blog, or working on my homework that is due for tomorrow.

Lone Survivor is a gut wrenching story about Operation Red Wing with four Navy Seals and a targeted Taliban leader. I’m sure most people have seen the movie, which I think does a FANTASTIC job at telling the story of that fateful day, but the book is something else entirely. The description that Marcus Luttrell goes into about his brothers and the hospitality of the Pashtun community is truly eye-opening. If you haven’t read it I HIGHLY recommend it. You can visit the website here. The movie is unlike any war movie I have ever seen before. Maybe it was because I read the book first, but it was amazing. The movie gave even more life to the book and put you into the middle of the battlefield where you saw and experienced the pain that these SEALs endured. You were able to see the acts of selflessness of these men in fighting to protect the red, white, and blue. My favorite line from the movie was by Matthew Axelson’s character, “you can die for your country, but I’m going to live for mine.” He fought to the death in honor of America. Mike Murphy and his last attempt to call for help, climbing to the top of a cliff to gain more reception to make that last phone call, the one that put him directly into harm’s way so that he could save his brothers, it makes me tear up as I write this. Danny Dietz, what a man of true grit. He had lost his hand, been shot in the leg, the back, and the head….was being dragged and still shooting at the Taliban. He would’ve kept fighting has a bullet to the throat not taken his life. The last guy of the squad, Marcus Luttrell. The lone survivor of the group, who lives on to share his story of that day. How they had to fall down a mountain three times trying to make it to better ground. THREE TIMES. He goes on to share his experience about being captured and then having members of the Pashtun community take him in as one of their own, fighting to the death to keep him alive because of a standard that their community upholds. I don’t know how ANYONE could read this book and NOT come away unchanged. This book is on my heart as I think about my activities in my daily life. I think about this book when I am training. NEVER again will I complain that a training session is too tiring or that my body is giving out because well, that's just crap, it is my mind that is quitting. If those SEALs can survive for that long after taking gunshot after gunshot to the body and having no food or water, you better believe I can make it through a workout for heaven’s sake.

"Been around the world twice. Talked to everyone once. I've seen two whales f*ck, been to three world fairs. I even know a man in Thailand with a wooden cock. I've pushed more peter, more sweeter, and more completer than any other peter-pusher around. I'm a hard-bodied, hairy-chested, rootin', tootin', shootin', parachutin', demolition double tap crimpin' frogman. There ain't nothing I can't do. No sky too high, no sea too rough, no muff too tough. Learned a lot of lessons in my life. Never shoot a large caliber man with a small caliber bullet. Drove a lot of trucks. 2by's, 4by's, 6by's and those big motherf*ckers that bend and go 'shhh shhh' when you step on the brakes. Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards. I'm a lover, I'm a fighter, I'm a UDT SEAL Diver. I'll wine, dine, intertwine, and then sneak out the back door when the refueling is done. If you're feeling froggy then you better jump because this Frogman has been there, done that, and is going back for more."

- Shane Patton (in Lone Survivor) 

I guess I had never given it much thought as to what our Special Operations guys do over there. All I really know is what I see on the news or hear over the radio, which doesn’t give our soldiers the credit that they so deserve. I have often been moved when I see a veteran walking somewhere in their uniform. I want to go up and hug them, about let alone kiss them out of gratitude and everything that they have done for this beautiful country of mine. I usually can’t get the guts to go up and say it though, for fear of…well I don’t really know.

My brother is super interested in the SEALs and what they have to offer and what it means to be a SEAL, so I have all kinds of books at my disposal. After reading Lone Survivor, I moved onto Chris Kyle’s book American Sniper. This book is about America’s most decorated sniper and the different missions and problems he faced throughout his four tours in Afghanistan. This website gives you a tiny glimpse into the person he was. He made it through those four tours, for the most part unscathed, to unfortunately be killed on his home soil. God must have needed a good soldier by his side. 

The stories that Chris Kyle tells seem to be something only one would see in a movie, let alone have to live through. His book took you right into the field of battle, as did Lone Survivor, except his was a culmination of stories instead of one event. It was in his book that I found my calling. He describes when he he finally had to undergo dual knee surgeries after being caught under a wall that exploded from an RPG. He describes his rehab experience with a Physical Therapist who was a Certified Strength & Conditioning Coach, explaining the pain and frustration that he went through with this PT who was there with him every step of the way. Along with helping Chris Kyle to be the fittest he has ever been, allowing him to step back into battle without missing a beat.

As soon as I read that portion of the book, I knew that that is what I wanted to do with my life. Help injured soldiers return to their passion, the battlefield. I love athletics and training players, but there is something that spoke to me after reading these two books. The desire to give back to those who have so valiantly put their life on the line for this country time and time again. That is something that takes a truly special human being, and if rehabbing someone that has done that is my contribution to the beautiful USA, then I would be honored.

So Physical Therapy school is next on the list of my educational endeavours. I have no idea where yet, but I am so excited to get there. 

To the men and women of the armed forced who serve our country, I thank you. If it weren't for you, there wouldn't be a place to call the Beautiful U.S. of A. 

2013: One for the Books

Another year and another blog post. Too cliché? Never.

I know that I am WAY behind on blogging, especially with my New Year's post. I'm using grad school as an excuse. I checked and yes I am allowed to do that.

2013 turned out to be an amazing year. We, as a family, had some struggles, but boy did we make it through so much stronger. There were so many milestones and amazing moments that this blog post will more than likely not do it justice.

To start off 2013 my mom got diagnosed with cancer. I had some blog posts about this earlier in the year, but never posted them because...well I don't have a reason. Trying to wrap myself around the fact that my hero had been hit with such a hard blow was undeniably hard. Thankfully she has gotten through the worst of it and right now fingers are crossed. We are not in the clear yet, but every day is a closer step to that.

I had my first alumni weekend. If that doesn't make me feel old I don't know what will. Got to spend some time with friends I haven't seen in forever. It was a great weekend reconnecting with old friends, playing soccer with my old teammates, and giving one last goodbye to some of my favorite people on the planet.

My brother moved in with me. Ponder that one for a minute. Haha it has been a major adjustment trying to get used to a roommate after being alone for so long. We are still a work in progress, as you can imagine.

I got to go to Honduras and spend some quality time with one of my best friends from college. Went to a beautiful beach wedding, brushed up on my Spanish, and got to have an unforgettable island adventure.

I started grad school in August. Something that I have been working towards for a very long time...and in all honesty didn't think would happen. It has been a stressful, complicated, angering, but joyous and rewarding ride. I don't think I would change it for anything.

I joined an indoor soccer league, thanks to a nudge...ok push from one of my best friends from undergrad. We went 10-2 for the season. Not too shabby!

Our family experienced two major losses in the matter of a week. We lost a very close family friend and we lost my grandfather. Death is weird and I have problems understanding it. I imagine most people do. But I can say, with a full and happy heart, that both of these men are in a better place and no longer in any pain. Although they are greatly missed here we will be reunited with them soon.

I reconnected with my Dad. I don't talk about him much, if ever due to the fact we have had a strained/non-existent relationship for the last ten years. Growing up without a dad in my life has been hard, but something you learn to accept. I decided that after ten years of pent up anger that it was time to let it go and accept the fact that we're both human and mistakes have been made. You can't mend a shattered relationship quickly, but in time I think we can have a healthy father daughter relationship. In lots of time.

I've started making my way back to the Big Man upstairs. My journey is slow, but I am getting there. Bible studies and people who don't judge my quirkiness have certainly helped that.

I came to the realization about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be a Physical Therapist with a Strength and Conditioning Certification who works with injured soldiers. Helping to rehabilitate them and get them back to what they love doing. I feel like it is my way of giving back. How excited I am about my future, but there is so much work to be done. Work that I am excited to tackle. Once I complete my Masters in Cell and Molecular Biology I plan on going to the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program here at Missouri State.

Finally, I celebrated my one year anniversary with Crossfit 417. I know I talk about Crossfit all. the. time. but this gym has truly been a blessing to me. The people I've met and the friendships that I have made are irreplaceable. I found myself in this gym when I thought that I had lost everything. They helped me to rediscover myself off of the mountain biking trails. After that loss I had a huge hole to climb out of and I did that with the people who have become my family at 417.

2013 was a great year, but I am excited to see what 2014 has in store. It can only get better from here.

Another Goodbye

Death is suffocating and can take the happiest of spirits and damper them. It brings with it an overwhelming feeling of grief, guilt, anger, and whatever other feeling you want to insert here. I mentioned in my last post that I had never fully experienced a death so close to home as the lose of my grandparent's best friend two weeks ago. It seems that God decided to call another one of his people home.

Last Monday I lost my grandfather. A man whom I hadn't spoken to in years, but with his passing it hit me like a freight train. Two deaths in a matter of eight days is taxing on the emotions. It's is taxing on the body, but most of all on the soul. My grandfather was a man of many things; he was stationed at Pearl Harbor during WWII, he was famous for his story telling, and he was a man that my brother and I looked to with amazement in our eyes. Grandparents are very special people. They've gone through their years of discipline with their own children and it is now an opportunity to spoil those grandchildren. Story telling was his way of spoiling us. My brother and I were the youngest of his grandchildren, by a good 10 years. Whenever he'd visit we would stay up for hours listening to him tell his war stories, jokes, or any random story of the troublemaking my dad and his brothers got into. Even as a child, every Christmas we would call my Grandpa Martin (thinking it was Santa) and go on and on about what we wanted, how good we'd been, and he would merely egg us on with further questions.

We lost contact when my dad and I parted ways, or should I say I parted ways with him. My grandfather couldn't understand what on this earth could move me to not speak to my father anymore, it was a story that he didn't need to hear. I regret the fact that he died upset with me, for not reaching out and making amends with him. It scares me because it makes me realize that my mom's parents don't have that much time left, and it makes me sad just to think about the relationship that was missed out on over the last couple of years. It makes you realize what you have and it makes you realize what you want.

I have an ache in my stomach for the men who were called home over the past couple of weeks. At least they were taken to a better place and without pain.

Death is hard, but undeniably inevitable. May you forever rest in peace and know that you were always loved, from a distance. Grandpa Martin 11.11.13

"Are You Paying Attention?" - Sincerely, Life

Life has a great way of punching you in the mouth when you aren't paying attention, a kind reminder that you have gotten sidetracked with things. I got my punch in the mouth last weekend. Everybody and their mother knows that grad school has consumed my life...which is totally fine and I love what I am studying. I have a bad habit of secluding myself from the outside world when I am overwhelmed or stressed and I miss things, miss out on a lot of things I should say.

So far my first semester in grad school has been challenging, interesting, and above all mentally pushing (for lack of a better word). There is so much information out there that I am learning and have yet to learn. It is a fun and stressful experience all at the same time. With a commitment, one such as big as grad school, I am beginning to miss things. Miss my friends, my family, and normal hours and routines are beginning to change. Perhaps I am beginning to change.

This year has been a roller coaster with plenty of ups and certainly some downs. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in February. Something that a child never wants to hear. For so many years she had taken care of me and now it was my turn to step in and take care of her. For a recent update, she is doing well! She has passed all of her check-ups and looks to be in the clear. Cancer is scary, a scary word in itself and I pray that no one has to go through it or have a family member go through it. Unfortunately I got news last month that my best friend's mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. (This is the beginning of my punch in the mouth experience) when a friend's family goes through something like this, you go through it with them. You are there for support and encouragement, and hold the experience to perhaps ease their pain and fears, if only just a little bit.

I have a thing for people. When they hurt, I hurt. I care so much for the people who are in my life and who make it a great one. Earlier last week I got a call from a client who lost everything to a fire. Her dog and cat, her memories, and her home. My heart broke for her, even more so that there was nothing that I could do to help, but give her words of encouragement. Then last Saturday, (the full fledged punch) I got news that a close family friend passed away. Now I have yet to experience a death close to my family, so this was a first for me. Emotions ran rapid and I felt as if I couldn't control them. As my mom explained to me what had happened tears rolled down my face and my heart broke again, mainly for my grandparents and the wife of this beloved gentleman, as he was a major part of their lives.

Ted Cox, was my grandparents best friend. He was an integral part of my childhood/teen rebellion at the church where I grew up. Whenever he would come to our house for a visit he was always intrigued to know what was going on in my life. How is school? What are you studying? How many boys are chasing you? Typical questions. Ha. He was never without a joke or a smile and was loved by all who crossed his path. He reminded me of my grandfather, with his love for others and his reliance in answering my million questions. Ted was a retired veterinarian who loved helping people out with their pets. I have many memories of my grandpa, Ted, and I playing with my dog Max and him sharing his wealth of knowledge with me. He was a man with one of the kindest hearts that I have ever known and he is already greatly missed. It hurt to have to miss his funeral this weekend, and I pray that he's okay with that. I know he's looking down from heaven probably laughing about the whole thing.

I am not one who likes to talk about death, I think I have this secret hope that science will one day figure out a way for me to live forever. Haha. But when faced with tragedies such as this it makes me think. Makes me think about the person that I am and the one that I am becoming. What is it that I want to be remembered for? And the image that I want to leave behind?

I learned a long time ago that love and respect work far better than anger or hatred. I try to show love to everyone in my life. I try to go out of my way to make someone's day brighter or a little better, whether that be with a kind gesture or merely a smile. I've learned through this situation that time is precious, probably the most precious thing because ours is limited (cliché I know). I have learned that 20 seconds of insane, undeniable courage is better than none, and that doing things that excite you and scare you help you grow into a better and stronger person. I tell people how I feel because as I said, we don't have a whole lot of time on this planet, so why not go out on a limb to make someone's day better or tell someone that you care about them?

Believe me it's the best feeling in the world to open your heart to people, it may hurt sometimes, but the rewards are far better than the risks. I pray that I am remembered as Ted will be. A person who gives to and loves those whom she cares about, as well people I have never met.

May you forever rest in peace Ted. Know that we love you and miss you down here. Give God a hug for me will ya?

RIP Ted Cox 11.2.2013